Amoeblog


Shanghai Surprise

Posted by Job O Brother, April 10, 2007 11:03am | Post a Comment

               EXT. SUNSET BLVD. - DAY

               JOB, (early 30's) wearing jeans and a T-shirt reading
               "World's Best Grandpa", walks down the bustling street.

               Everyone he passes is talking on a cell phone.

               His phone starts ringing.

               He fishes it out of his back pocket.

                                   JOB
                         Hello?

                                   VOICE (V.O.)
                         Spare some change?

                                   JOB
                         What?

                                   VOICE (V.O.)
                         Some change?

                                   JOB
                         Who is this?

               Job notices a HOMELESS MAN half a block away, sitting on the
               sidewalk amidst piles of filthy clothes and collected
               materials.

               The Homeless Man, on a cell phone, is waving his arm at Job.

                                   HOMELESS MAN
                         Over here... it's me.

                                   JOB
                         Uh...

               Job stops in his tracks; does not approach Homeless Man.

                                   HOMELESS MAN
                         How 'bout just a quarter? For some
                         food, man.

                                   JOB
                         How did you get this number?

                                   HOMELESS MAN
                         I just need a cup of coffee, chief.

                                   JOB
                         How did you get this number?

               Long beat.

                                   HOMELESS MAN
                         I Googled it.

                                   JOB
                         What?!

                                   HOMELESS MAN
                         Hey man, you got fifty cents for a
                         cup a' coffee?

               Job hangs up and continues walking, somewhat faster now.

               He checks his watch. He's running late.

               He dials a number on his phone.

               INT. AMOEBA MUSIC, INFO DESK - CONTINUOUS

               Phone rings at the info desk. Seated there are two employees,
               ADRIENNE and HEIDI.

               Heidi is already on the phone. Adrienne finishes helping a
               customer.

                                   ADRIENNE
                         ...Exactly. New CD's are that side
                         and used CD's are that side.

                                   CUSTOMER
                         What if I want a new CD?

               Beat as Adrienne takes a breath.

                                   ADRIENNE
                             (pointing)
                         That side.

               Customer walks in opposite direction from her point.

               Adrienne answers phone.

                                   ADRIENNE (CONT'D)
                         Amoeba Music.

               INTERCUT BETWEEN ADRIENNE AND JOB.

                                   JOB
                         This is Job...

                                   ADRIENNE
                         Hi, Job.

                                   JOB
                         Adrienne?

                                   ADRIENNE
                         Yep.

                                   JOB
                         Hey. Will you connect me to the
                         Jazz Room, please?

                                   ADRIENNE
                         Sure...

               STAY ON JOB AS HE'S PUT ON HOLD.

                                   SINGING ON PHONE (V.O.)
                         This is hold music... beautiful
                         hold music... lovely, soothing hold
                         music... music to cut your thro...

                                   ANSON (V.O.)
                         Hello?

                                   JOB
                         Anson?

                                   ANSON (V.O.)
                         Yeah. Job?

                                   JOB
                         Hey... I'm running, like, five
                         minutes late.

                                   ANSON (V.O.)
                         Five minutes late? Okay.

                                   JOB
                         So, I'll see you soon.

                                   ANSON (V.O.)
                         No, new and used are mixed
                         together.

                                   JOB
                         What?

                                   ANSON (V.O.)
                         Hold on, Job...
                             (muffled)
                         Yeah, no, anything with a colored
                         price tag is used...
                             (beat)
                         Yeah, if it's got a yellow price
                         tag it's used...
                             (beat)
                         Yeah, green is used. Any color is
                         used. Only black and white tags are
                         new...
                             (beat)
                         Sorry, Job.

                                   JOB
                         It's okay, dude.

                                   ANSON (V.O.)
                         Huh? Yeah, see, it's got a red
                         price tag, so that's used...
                             (beat)
                         Job?

               Job has made it to the front of Amoeba Music and walks in.

               INT. AMOEBA MUSIC - CONTINUOUS

               TRACKING SHOT OF JOB.

                                   JOB
                         Yeah?

                                   ANSON (V.O.)
                         Sorry, man. What were you saying?

                                   JOB
                         I was saying goodbye.

                                   ANSON (V.O.)
                         Oh... Sorry.

                                   JOB
                         No worries, man...

               Job has reached the Jazz Room and walks towards the Jazz Info
               Desk where Anson, back to him, is on the phone.

                                   JOB (CONT'D)
                         ...I'll see you soon.

                                   ANSON
                         Okay. Bye.

               Anson hangs up.

               Before Job can tap his shoulder, Job is intercepted by a
               CUSTOMER holding four CD's, all with different colored price
               tags.

                                   CUSTOMER
                         You work here?

                                   JOB
                         Yes.

                                   CUSTOMER
                         Are these used?

               Job's cell phone rings.

                                   JOB
                             (to Customer)
                         Yes. Anything with a colored price
                         tag is used.

               Customer nods and walks off as Job answers his phone.

                                   JOB (CONT'D)
                         Hello?

                                   HOMELESS MAN (V.O.)
                         What if it has a blue line on the
                         price tag?

               Job hangs up, a little freaked out.

               Suddenly, MADONNA comes in and constructs a life-sized copy
               of the Temple of David on top of the soundtracks section.

                                   JOB
                             (to Anson)
                         I hate Tuesdays.

                                           END

Relevant Tags

Amoeba Music Hollywood (104), Madonna (38)