Like any cinematic guilty pleasure worth weathering, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is more than just an overblown, summer swashbuckler expressed by as yet untapped, stay-puft and plunging poet-shirted, scally-wag stereotypes. Nay, this flick be an opportune seaworthy vessel for a cine-booze cruise. Having veraciously enjoyed the film myself, I offer here some possible guidelines for dissolving that fourth wall of Disney imagineering with the real spirit of the eighteenth century --- RUM! --- an endeavor that'll surely have you listing near to scuppers or otherwise passed out in the bilge by journey's end: be ye warned!
First off, the obvious: 1 drink whenever anyone drinks, cheers matey. This is a pirate movie after all, savvy? (Make that a sip for every "savvy" uttered as well.)
1 drink for every instance of weird religious undertones. Hear me now believe me later, there is enough missionary madness and religious righteousness invoked here to warrant suspicions as to the possible narrative of Rummy 5.
1 drink when Richard Griffiths flashes his nasty, royal grill!
1 drink for every "Aye!" Geoffrey Rush's pirate turned privateer, Captain Hector Barbossa, delivers.
1 drink for every veiled dick-joke, sexually suggestive slight or instance of implied bawdiness.
1 drink whenever Blackbeard, played by "bad man" Ian McShane, strokes, draws or nefariously itches his sword.
1 tipple for every mermaid nipple hidden behind a mess of salty tresses. (Fun fact: Disney sought to cast talent with au naturel treasure chests for their mermaids, favoring mammary realness rather than epic breast augmentation.)
1 drink for every time a chalice is lost or otherwise not found.
1 drink whenever a flag is brandished.
1 drink every time the movie makes fun of the Pirates of the Caribbean film franchise.
I think it best to end it there, as I'm sure these points alone are enough to float any boat game enough
to imbibe a right ruthless water-logging, wreckage and ruin. Please make free to raid and pillage this list at your own risk --- drink up me hearties, yo ho!