EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
A lovely, young MAIDEN sits on the grass crying.
In her hand is a trowel. Next to her is a shallow hole.
The sounds of night birds and insects play and luminous
fireflies dance in the background; a beautiful night scene.
An INVISIBLE PRINCE approaches.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Pardon me.
The Maiden is startled, looks up.
MAIDEN
Oh!
PRINCE (V.O.)
I startled you, forgive me.
The Maiden is embarrassed.
PRINCE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
You were crying. I hate to bother
you but I needed to make sure you
were alright.
MAIDEN
Oh. Yes. Thank you. I am.
Awkward pause as the Maiden does her best to hold back tears.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Then... Well, then I'll be on my
way. Good night.
MAIDEN
Wait.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Yes?
Beat as Maiden thinks of what to say.
PRINCE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Is there anything I can do for you?
MAIDEN
I... Yes. Just... stay with me a
short while?
PRINCE (V.O.)
Stay with you?
MAIDEN
If you wouldn't mind. I don't want
to cry anymore and it's easy not to
when there's someone here.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Very well. Do you need me to fetch
you anything?
MAIDEN
No. Please, sit down.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Alright.
Sounds of him sitting down.
PRINCE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
It's a beautiful night.
MAIDEN
Yes.
(beat)
You're invisible.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Yes.
MAIDEN
Why? ...If I may ask.
PRINCE (V.O.)
I would tell you but can't.
MAIDEN
Oh.
PRINCE (V.O.)
It's a curse, you see. And the
wrong thing could spell trouble for
me.
MAIDEN
Oh. A witch?
PRINCE (V.O.)
What?
MAIDEN
A witch's curse? You don't have to
tell me.
PRINCE (V.O.)
A witch. Yes. That part I can say.
(beat)
You were digging?
The Maiden glooms over.
She nods.
PRINCE (V.O.) (CONT'D)
What for? If I may ask.
MAIDEN
Oh... I've a new trowel. My father
bought it for me. It's from Home
Depot.
(sighs)
I'm sorry. I'm very sad.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Why are you sad?
MAIDEN
It's this trowel...
PRINCE (V.O.)
What about it?
MAIDEN
I was telling you.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Sorry.
MAIDEN
My father bought this trowel for me
and not soon after fell into the
well.
PRINCE (V.O.)
That's horrible.
MAIDEN
No. No he survived. And as it
happened, the well led to a secret
room filled with treasure. Gold and
emeralds and sapphires of every
color...
PRINCE (V.O.)
That's amazing.
MAIDEN
Yes. Except that they were poison
gold and emeralds and sapphires of
every color. Well, except the blue
sapphires weren't poison but by
that point it doesn't matter.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Right.
MAIDEN
Still, my father is a strong man
and immune to even the most deadly
of poisons...
PRINCE (V.O.)
Impressive, he sounds.
MAIDEN
Yes. Yes he is. Anyway, in the
center of the secret room lay a
dark, dark hole - so deep that it
led to the deepest core of the
earth, where no light reaches and
no man can ever escape.
PRINCE (V.O.)
He fell in?
MAIDEN
No. He had prostate cancer.
PRINCE (V.O.)
I see. I'm very sorry.
MAIDEN
I miss him.
Beat.
A UNICORN walks up.
UNICORN
Hey guys.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Hey dude.
UNICORN
What's up?
PRINCE (V.O.)
She was just telling me about her
father.
UNICORN
Oh, yeah, I heard about that.
Sorry.
MAIDEN
It's okay. Thanks.
UNICORN
I didn't realize you two knew each
other.
PRINCE (V.O.)
We just met.
UNICORN
Oh.
(to Maiden)
You know if you get him laid he
won't be invisible anymore.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Dude!
UNICORN
What?
PRINCE (V.O.)
That's... way too personal! We
don't even really know each other.
UNICORN
So? I'm not saying she has to do
it. Maybe she'll know someone...
PRINCE (V.O.)
Dude, stop. Right now.
UNICORN
Okay, I'm sorry. But you'll never
get that curse broken if you don't
bring it up.
PRINCE (V.O.)
I can't even really talk about it
because of the curse, okay?
UNICORN
Yeah you keep saying that but... I
don't get what you can and can't
say.
PRINCE (V.O.)
(frustrated)
Yeah, it's vague. That's what
curses from witches are like. It's
not like she spelled out a contract
with me. I ate one of her fricken'
apples not knowing what the hell,
and bam! A bunch of mumbo-jumbo and
I'm invisible. That's how it works.
It's not clear.
UNICORN
Okay. Sorry if I offended you.
PRINCE (V.O.)
It wasn't even a very good apple.
UNICORN
I'm sorry.
PRINCE (V.O.)
It's okay.
Awkward pause.
UNICORN
Okay well, I gotta go.
PRINCE (V.O.)
'Kay.
UNICORN
I'll see you guys around.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Bye.
MAIDEN
Bye.
Unicorn trots off.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Sorry about that.
MAIDEN
It's okay.
(beat)
If I kiss you, will you reappear?
PRINCE (V.O.)
I... I don't think so. I mean, like
I said, it wasn't exactly clear -
what the terms of the curse were,
but... Yeah, I mean, someone's
already tried just kissing me and
it didn't work.
MAIDEN
Oh.
(beat)
Well... I'd have sex with you.
PRINCE (V.O.)
You would?
(She shrugs)
Really?
MAIDEN
Sure. I mean, if you want to.
PRINCE (V.O.)
Uh... yeah, well, yeah. Definitely.
Thank you. That would be great.
MAIDEN
Okay.
The Maiden leans back, smiling slightly.
CAMERA PANS TO NEARBY TRAIL AND BEGINS A TRACKING SHOT THAT
LEADS TO THE UNICORN WALKING AWAY.
The Unicorn suddenly stops.
UNICORN
Oh shit, I forgot my cell phone.
END
