Amoeblog

Sugar & Spice: Everything's Coming Up Rum!

Posted by Kelly Sweeney Osato, February 14, 2012 03:15pm | Post a Comment
ron jeremy rum ron de jeremy smuggler's cove san francisco bar tiki tropical cocktail rhum panama
Holy diver, have I got a stiffy for your cocktail! I had a singular experience with a familiar elemental over the weekend and let me tell you is wasn't as easy as...well, let's just say I took it rather hard.

It all began when I asked Steven Liles, a trusted barkeep at Smuggler's Cove - the best rum bar in San Francisco, nay, on this island earth (putting them in the running for best rum bar in this sector of our galaxy) - for a pour of something exciting and new from the less-than-extravagantly priced end of their extensive spectrum of Lord Nelson's Blood offerings. I knew I was in trouble when, uttering something like a giggle with a kill-devil twinkle in his eye, he motioned the nearest rum-runner to procure a bottle of "Jeremy" from below-decks. Then he turned and said something along the lines of, "you know that ron means rum in Spanish, right?" The kicker: it was an unopened, virgin bottle of Ron.

That's right, kids: adult film star Ron Jeremy's got his own signature rum, Ron de Jeremy - a seven-year old xxx rum from Panama. You too can cop a swallow and ear me now, believe me later when I say that you won't have you pants pulled down over the price (though too much of the stuff will likely bring you to your knees). Frankly, it's not that bad a rum for slow sipping what with the toasted-sugar nose packing vanilla notes and the attractive chestnut glow. However, the purportedly "long smooth taste" does not a happy ending make i.e. the finish lends disturbing embellishment to the term "hair of the dog" when giving head to Jeremy's hard stuff. It's good, but goes down dirty. Imbibers, ye be warned!

But that's not the only rummy that popped up last week!

west indies soul trans air label tropical caribbean slow jam world funk disco compilation cd lp vinyl

Last Thursday (a.k.a. Lana Del Rey day) this sweet baby arrived at Amoeba Music SF! It seems the good folks down at San Juan Puerto Rico-based label Trans Air are serving Soul Jazz some solid competition in the compilation arts department with their latest offering of island scorchers: West Indies Soul, Volume 1. How hot is that eye-popping red-on-green cover art featuring Antigua-shaped collage of rum labels? Hot enough to follow Trans Air's trailblazing streak of dance floor fire-starters like Disc'o'Lypso and West Indies Funk volumes one through three. This latest release showcases a softer side of the warm Caribbean sounds and breezy island rhythms with audio remastered from the original analog tapes for optimum sound quality. Standout tracks include covers of Dyke & The Blazers - "Funky Broadway" and Lou Rawl's venerable "Love Is A Hurting Thing" not to mention lesser heard Northern Soul jams like Richard Stoute's "Love is a Hurting Thing" and Dobby Dobson's take on "What Love Has Joined Together" (listen below). Tropical ballads like these leave nothing wanting save perhaps for a proper beverage pairing like a tall, cool Wray & Ting.

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Imbibing "Rummy 4" (In Which the Spiritus of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is Deemed Grog-Worthy)!

Posted by Kelly Sweeney Osato, May 25, 2011 04:10pm | Post a Comment
pirates of the caribbean four on stranger tides johnny depp captain jack sparrow drinking rum hawaii drunk
Like any cinematic guilty pleasure worth weathering, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is more than just an overblown, summer  swashbuckler expressed by as yet untapped, stay-puft and plunging poet-shirted, scally-wag stereotypes. Nay, this flick be an opportune seaworthy vessel for a cine-booze cruise. Having veraciously enjoyed the film myself, I offer here some possible guidelines for dissolving that fourth wall of Disney imagineering with the real spirit of the eighteenth century --- RUM! --- an endeavor that'll surely have you listing near to scuppers or otherwise passed out in the bilge by journey's end: be ye warned!

First off, the obvious: 1 drink whenever anyone drinks, cheers matey. This is a pirate movie after all, savvy? (Make that a sip for every "savvy" uttered as well.)
pirates of the caribbean 4 on stragner tides disney king richard griffiths uncle monty withnail dirty teath nasty grill
1 drink for every instance of weird religious undertones. Hear me now believe me later, there is enough missionary madness and religious righteousness invoked here to warrant suspicions as to the possible narrative of Rummy 5.

1 drink when Richard Griffiths flashes his nasty, royal grill!

1 drink for every "Aye!" Geoffrey Rush's pirate turned privateer, Captain Hector Barbossa, delivers.

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