Amoeblog

California Fool's Gold -- A Hollywood Primer

Posted by Eric Brightwell, March 26, 2012 09:42pm | Post a Comment
HOLLYWOOD SWINGING


Hollywood Boulevard in 1927 at the opening of Hells Angels at Grauman's Chinese

Hollywood is famous around the world as the one-time center of the American film industry. Although Hollywood isn't the original home of the west coast film industry (nearby Edendale in Echo Park and Sycamore Grove in Highland Park both have stronger claims to that distinction), Hollywood has for almost a century continued to serve as a metonym for that industry (and inspire portmanteaus like Bollywood, Dollywood, Ghallywood, Kollywood, Mollywood, Nollywood, Tollywood, etc); even though that most of the film industry mostly long ago abandoned the neighborhood, primarily for the San Fernando Valley. Hollywood has done an excellent job of branding though. After all, you don't have other countries referring to their film industries as "Bedendale," "Nycamore Grove", or "the Ghalley."


The Hollywood neighborhood has expertly continued to pimp its association with the American film industry that formerly called it home where the other neighborhoods did not. In Edendale, the oldest studio was torn down and is now a vacant lot where the 2 Freeway meets Glendale. The old Mack Sennet Studio where Charlie Chaplin and Keystone Cops movies were made is now a public storage facility unceremoniously tucked behind a Jack in the Box. Hollywood, on the other hand, continues to bill itself as "The Entertainment Capital of the World" and adds industry-related tourist attractions like the Hollywood Walk of Fame, which was installed long after the last pieces of tinsel in tinseltown had blown over the hills.

Today there are relatively few vestiges of Hollywood's cinematic past not installed merely to attract tourists -- of the film studios, only Paramount remains. Of the major label music industry, only Capitol Records remains. The aforementioned Walk of Fame -- to me, at least -- serves primarily as a testament to the ephemeral nature of stardom. Not to be hopelessly cynical but the first time I saw the names like Bryan Adams, Sean "Diddy" Combs, and Paula Abdul, I felt nothing but disinterest. However, for roughly ten million annual visitors it's presumably something terribly exciting and I honestly don't want to disparage that.



I would be very surprised, however, if much of Hollywood doesn't disappoint the celebrity or glamor-chaser because it really has little of either. Along a particularly acrid stretch Hollywood Boulevard, low-end shops hawk photos of celebrities alongside stripper-wear, I Love Lucy lunch boxes, tacky cell phone cases, novelty license plates, T-shirts and other chintz. People dressed rather unconvincingly as superheroes attempt to bully clueless tourists into tipping them for posing in pictures. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's saddened by the spectacle. 


Pendersleigh & Sons Cartography's Map of Hollywood (available on T-shirts from Cal31.com)

But that's only Downtown Hollywood. Though a relatively small district of Los Angeles County, Hollywood has about as much wealth disparity as your average banana republic and there are many diverse neighborhoods within the district.

Hollywood can generally be divided into three (or four) sections: Hollywood proper, East Hollywood and the Hollywood Hills (which are sometimes further divided into Hollywood Hills East and Hollywood Hills West).The Hollywood Hills neighborhoods nestled in the hills and canyons above Hollywood proper have long attracted the slightly bohemian wealthy of LA. Gritty East Hollywood is home to two of LA's many officially-recognized ethnic enclaves, Little Armenia and Thai Town. The whole community boasts a diverse ethnic mixture, with large populations of Armenian, English, German, Guatemalan, Mexican, Russian, Salvadoran, and Ukranian-Americans. (Note: North Hollywood is a distinct district in the Valley which neither borders Hollywood nor is considered part of it. West Hollywood is an independent city and thus not part of Los Angeles.)

There are other bright spots too. Amoeba Music, for one! The Egyptian Theater is another treasure. The city's stand-up and theater scenes continue to be centered there still. It's also conveniently located geographically in Central LA alongside its neighbors Midtown to the south and the Mideast Side to the east. In addition, the San Fernando Valley lies to the north and the Westside lies to the west.


*****


EARLY HOLLYWOOD


Hollywood in 1903

In 1853, a lone adobe hut stood in what's now Hollywood but was then known as Nopalera. 17 years later the then-known-as Cahuenga Valley supported a growing agricultural community. It was named Hollywood by the so-called "Father of Hollywood," H. J. Whitley. The town grew into a largely Mormon community in the 1880s although its population remained small and separated from Los Angeles by a two-hour train ride. Hollywood incorporated as its own city in 1903. The following year, a majority of 113 voters voted to prohibit alcohol, except for valid medical purposes.


Hollywood in 1910
 
Director D. W. Griffith was the filmmaker to shoot in Hollywood with his film, In Old California, released on March 10, 1910. No matter that it couldn't initially be seen in Hollywood, since the town squares had also seen fit to ban movie theaters. Later in 1910, the sleepy town was annexed by LA, primarily lured by their their reliable water supply. Once part of Los Angeles, movie theaters could open there too.


Nestor Sudios in 1913

Nestor Motion Picture Company
was the first Hollywood studio to shoot a film locally -- an unnamed one, apparently -- on October 26, 1911, directed by Al Christie and David and William Horsley. Nestor was started by New Jersey–based Centaur Company to crank out low budget westerns. They established their west coast studio at the corner of Sunset and Gower, in what was nicknamed the Gower Gulch, after a nearby roadhouse. The studio was demolished in 1936.


HOLLYWOOD'S GOLDEN AGE


By 1915, most American films were made in Los Angeles (displacing New York City). From the 1920s to the 1940s it was the center of American film production. It continued to be the center of the American pop music industry through the 1950s.


AFTER "THE INDUSTRY" LEFT


Hollywood and Vine in 1965

By the 1960s, both of those industries had for the most part completely abandoned the neighborhood. Nonetheless, even today, it still draws tourists hoping to catch a glimpse of its long-faded glamor, thanks largely to savvy marketing. The first stars on the Walk of Fame had been installed a few years earlier, in 1958. Also in the 1960s, in the name of modernization, most of the beautiful art deco buildings in the area were destroyed to make way for boxier, less-stylized, modern structures. This move did little to attract tourists. However, head shops moved into the neighborhood and attracted hippies, who had at least as much a part in keeping Hollywood vibrant as the destructive redevelopers. 


YEARS OF DECLINE


Darby Back Stage Cut Up (1978) by Ruby Ray

By the 1970s, most of the old hotels had become flophouses. Newly arrived, largely Latino, residents began to move in, attracted by the cheap rents as most remaining whites moved out. Around the same time, many of the sex stores, stripper-wear merchants and porn theatres moved in, followed by an influx of prostitution and drugs. The punk scene arrived not long after, centered around venues like The Masque.


CULTS, CRACK AND CRIME

The once luxurious Garden Court Apartments, later nicknamed Hotel Hell (demolished 1984)
In the 1980s, the cults arrived. First, The Night People took over an abandoned bank, which came to be known colloquially as Hotel Hell. Soon after, Scientologists and Screamers joined them on the increasingly dystopian scene. During the Crack Era, community groups like the Ivar Hawks, Cherokee Condors, Las Palmas Lions, Wilcox Werewolves, Whitley Rangers and Hudson Howlers fought to reclaim a neighborhood that included areas known as Crack Alley and a bar outside of which some two dozen people were murdered over a very short period of time. Hollywood suffered even further from looting during the 1992 LA Riots


A COMEBACK OF SORTS


After decades of decline, the area has recently cleaned up considerably -- some would argue at the cost of its character. It is undeniably safer and more bustling than it has been in some time. Once vacant lots are now covered with parking structures, malls, apartments, high rises and restaurants. By the the mid-2000s, a number of nightclubs began attracting the trustafarian/hipster crowd and came to be known as the Cahuenga Crawl. Old fixtures like The Spotlight, Hollywood's last old school gay bar, have fallen by the wayside as gentrification and homogenization continues. In another sign of the times, some at the LA Film School have waged an all-out war on the older, beloved, and arguably more useful Hollywood Farmers' Market.

Although Hollywood today may have very little to do with its film history past, and although hallowed institutions are regularly demolished and shut down, it remains an vibrant region with diverse neighborhoods and thriving energy. And for every slick, hangar-sized sushi joint or chain restaurant, there's usually something more street level happening around the corner.

And now for the neighborhoods:


****
 
 
BEACHWOOD CANYON


Beachwood Canyon refers to a neighborhood nestled In the Hollywood Hills at the lower end of the actual Beachwood Canyon. Though mostly residential, it does have a small area known as Beachwood Village which includes a market, a coffee shop and stables. It has long been a popular neighborhood for celebrities, beginning with movie stars of the silent era. It's also home to the Lake Hollywood Reservoir, created by the 1924 construction of the Mulholland Dam.


BRONSON CANYON


The Bronson Canyon neighborhood lies beneath a Griffith Park-adjacent park of the same name. The nearby Bronson Caves have for many years been a popular shooting location -- primarily for low budget serials and films. The neighborhood itself is almost entirely residential.

 
CAHUENGA PASS


The Cahuenga Pass neighborhood is located in the lowest pass through the Hollywood Hills. Cahuenga was a Tongva village and the name means "place of the hill." It was the site of two Mexican skirmishes, the Battle of Cahuenga Pass in 1831 and the Battle of Providencia or Second Battle of Cahuenga Pass in 1845. 


CENTRAL HOLLYWOOD


Less touristy than Downtown Hollywood to the north, Central Hollywood is nonetheless home to Amoeba Music and the Cinerama Dome, built in 1963 and located across the street. It's also home to Hollywood's tallest building, Sunset Vine Tower, which was featured prominently in the 1974 disaster film, Earthquake. Later it was plagued with problems including the presence of asbestos, electrical fires and the popular perception of it being the world's biggest crackhouse. Nowadays it's been nicely, if expensively, refurbished. Central Hollywood is also home to the Gower Gulch shopping center and a Ross that continually looks like it was looted during a massive earthquake. 


CRESCENT HEIGHTS


Crescent Heights is the name of a tiny, mostly residential neighborhood located just above West Hollywood's Sunset Strip and below the mouth of Laurel Canyon.


 DAYTON HEIGHTS


Dayton Heights is a small neighborhood with a highly diverse scene, it would seem, as evinced by Chilean food (Rincon Chileno), Caribbean food (Cha Cha Cha), Japanese institutions (Bento Xpress and Fujiya Food Market), a leather bar (Faultline), a playhouse (Moth Theatre Company), Koreaninstitutions (Garam restaurant and the headquarters of the Korean Christian Press), the Slavic Baptist Church of HollywoodRomero's Rotisserie Chicken-N-Donuts, and Pizza Pauls.
 
 
DOWNTOWN HOLLYWOOD


Downtown Hollywood is centered around the intersection of Hollywood and Vine (aka Bob Hope Square). At the other end is Hollywood and Highland Center. Downtown is where most of the tourist traps are, including the Walk of Fame and Grauman's Chinese Theatre, whose forecourt famously features about 200 handprints, foot prints and autographs left by celebrities over the years. Across the street is the Egyptian Theatre, which opened five years earlier, in 1922.

 
FRANKLIN VILLAGE


One of Hollywood's several, nominal "villages," this one located at the base of Bronson Canyon. Unlike Virgil Village, Franklin Village actually feels a tiny bit more like village... or at least a cohesive collection of businesses and residents distinct from its neighbors. It's the home of Upright Citizens Brigade, Scientology’s Celebrity Centre [notice the "r" before "e" spelling which is posh, OK?] InternationalCounterpoint Records and Books, the 101 Coffee Shop and Hollywood Tower -- the inspiration for Disney's Twilight Zone Tower of Terror which itself inspired the first of Disney's based-on-a-ride films, 1997's Tower of Terror (followed by 2002's The Country Bears, 2003's The Haunted Mansion and the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise).
 
HEL-MEL


Hel-Mel is an East Hollywood neighborhood named after the intersection of Heliotrope Drive and Melrose Avenue. It's home to LACC. And even though Pure Luck Vegan sadly closed (and is much missed), it still has the Bicycle Kitchen, Scoops, and tattoo and tobacco places. Plus there are several art galleries and hip here-today-gone-tomorrow music venues and thus it attracts a certain element... you know, militant bikologists.


 
HOLLYWOOD DELL



Hollywood Dell is a Hollywood Hills neighborhood that was home, at various times, to Mary Astor, Charlie Chaplin, Roy Rogers, members of The Rolling Stones, Minnie Driver, Marilyn Manson, Davy Jones, Goldie Hawn, Lindsay Lohan and Doris Roberts. One of the residences was prominently featured in the film, Double Indemnity, as the location of Philip Marlowe's home.

HOLLYWOOD HEIGHTS


Hollywood Heights
is roughly bounded by Highland Avenue, Outpost Drive, Franklin Avenue, and south of the beloved Hollywood Bowl. Within it is Frank Lloyd Wright's Samuel Freeman House, The Magic Castle, Yamashiro Restaurant, and the Highland-Camrose Bungalow Village. It's also home to the Highland Gardens Hotel, where Janis Joplin died. The High Tower Apartments were featured in films including The Long Goodbye and Villa Bonita.


HOLLYWOOD STUDIO DISTRICT


Only one major film studio remains in the Hollywood Studio District - Paramount, which moved into the facility in 1926. Sunset Bronson Studios, formerly Warner Brothers Studios, are occupied by KTLA, which was originally owned by Paramount. Other studios include Nickelodeon, EastWest, and Sunset Gower.


HOLLYWOODLAND


Hollywoodland
is home to the 45 foot tall Hollywood Sign mounted on Mount Lee. It was originally erected in 1923 to advertise Woodruff and Shoults's then-newly-developed Hollywoodland subdivision. The "land" part of the sign was removed in 1949 so that the remaining Hollywood sign could serve as an icon of the entire Hollywood district and entertainment industry. The Hollywood sign that stands today was erected in 1978 and quickly became popular in establishing shots for films set in LA. Because of its exposure, it attracts tourists eager to stand near a big sign. And the people living in the neighborhood, knowing this fact full well, often tear their hair and flesh, beat their breasts, and wake other pitiable demonstrations because of it.


KINGSLEY VISTA


Kingsley Vista
is a small, residential neighborhood hemmed in between Normandie, the 101 and Santa Monica Boulevard. It's home to a couple of restaurants including El Nuevo San Salvador Restaurante #1, Maria's Ramada, and Sasoun Bakery.

 
LAUREL CANYON


Laurel Canyon came to life as home of some of the burgeoning film industry's key photo-players and filmmakers. Subsequent generations of hippies in the '60s, cocaine cowboys in the '70s and yuppies in the '80s later moved to the continually desirable location. To read more about Laurel Canyon, click here.
 

LITTLE ARMENIA - Լիթլ Արմենիայում


Physically-speaking, Little Armenia is one of the grayest, grimmest and grimiest corners of largely gray and grimy East Hollywood. Boxy and outwardly undistinguished strip malls dominate the commercial corridors but close your eyes and open your nose and ears. Home to a large Armenian-American population (and other ethnicities), it boasts numerous Armenian restaurants and bakeries as well as other businesses.  To read more about Little Armenia, click here


LOOKOUT MOUNTAIN


Above Laurel Canyon is the neighborhood of Lookout Mountain. It was formerly home of the Air Force-managed 1352d Motion Picture Squadron who used it to make films for the Department of Defense and the Atomic Energy Commission from 1947 to 1963.

 
MELROSE


The Melrose District (or simply, "Melrose") attracts tourists and shoppers in search of subcultural uniforms and vintage clothing. Behind the busy shopping district are streets of modest, attractive bungalows mostly built in the early 1920s. There are currently efforts to re-name the neighborhood "Melrose Village" ...everything needs to be designated a village.

 
MELROSE HILL


In January 2003, Los Angeles Magazine named Melrose Hill one of LA's "10 Great Neighborhoods." With cultural establishments limited to the porn-showing Tiki Theatre porn theater and the Met Theatre, it wouldn't exactly rocket to the top of my list but it does have a healthy assortment of cuisines represented by Bangkok Market, La Casita Colombiana, Catalina's Market, Choeng Wun, Cinderella's, Khun Dom, Lucky Grocery Market, Mi Lindo Oaxaca, and now, Tid Lom Thai. There's also the Lemon Grove Recreation Center and park overlooking the noisy, smoggy 101 freeway.

 
MOUNT OLYMPUS


Mount Olympus
is a Hollywood Hills neighborhood developed by Russ Vincent in 1969. It was featured in the mercifully little-seen film, Hollywood Homicide. It's entrance is announced by a sign held aloft by faux-ancient-Greek columns that some want to destroy because they think it's tacky. And?

 
NICHOLS CANYON


Nichols Canyon is named after John G. Nichols, who served as mayor of LA twice and built the first brick home in the city, which he was also the first to expand the borders of. The Hollywood Hills neighborhood is entirely residential and is centered along winding Nichols Canyon Rd. One of the more famed residents was Father Yod, an ex-marine who founded the Source Family cult, which counted amongst its members, Sky Saxon of The Seeds.


 
OUTPOST ESTATES


Outpost Estates is a neighborhood in the Hollywood Hills centered along Outpost Drive. It was developed in the 1920s by by Charles E. Toberman. As with its neighbor, Hollywoodland, Outpost Estates also advertised itself with a large sign. Unlike Hollywoodland, whose sign (after the removal of the "land") remains a tourist destination, the once neon-lit Outpost sign lies in ruin, obscured by weeds.
 
 
SPAULDING SQUARE


Eight block Spaulding Square's borders are Fairfax Ave on the west, Stanley Avenue on the east, Sunset Blvd on the north, and Fountain Avenue on the south. Almost entirely residential, it is nonetheless home to Sam's on Sunset. It's named after architect Albert Spaulding, who developed the area between 1916 and 1926. Many of the early residents were silent film stars and filmmakers. In 1993, it was designated a Historic Preservation Overlay Zone.


 
SUNSET FLATS (aka HOLLYWOOD-SUNSET FLATS)

I'm not entirely sure about the location and boundaries of Sunset Flats - I think it refers to the neighborhood between Hollywood and Sunset, north of Spaulding Square. I'll add more when I'm positive. 


SUNSET HILLS

Sunset Hills is a tiny celebrity enclave looking down from the western Hollywood Hills region onto West Hollywood. According to its Wikipedia entry, "Now [when?] Sunset Hills boasts the largest concentration of celebrities residing in Los Angeles [citation needed]."
 
SUNSET JUNCTION



Sunset Junction, originally known as Sanborn Junction, is named after a Pacific Electric Railway stop on the border of Silver Lake and Hollywood. Several neighborhood staples such as the Akbar, El Cid, Solutions(with the "Elliot Smith Mural") and the Sunset Junction Street Fair are almost always considered to be within Silver Lake but according to both the Silver Lake Neighborhood Council and the placement of the City of Los Angeles's Hollywood neighborhood signs suggest otherwise. Further west in the neightborhood are the Little Temple, Point-Point Joint and Sheila Klein's outdoor lamppost installation called Vermonica, which appeared fifteen years before Chris Burden's similar and better-known Urban Light sculpture at LACMA.


SUNSET PLAZA


Sunset Plaza
is a Hollywood Hills West neighborhood presumably centered along Sunset Plaza Drive which winds up just about the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood all the way to Wonderland Ave.

 
THAI TOWN - ไทยทาวน์


Los Angeles has the largest Thai population outside of Thailand. It is also home to the world's first Thai Town which is the cultural, commercial and culinary heart of Thai-America. Every year the streets are closed to cars for a large-scale Songkran festival/สงกรานต์. To read more about Thai Town, click here.


THEATER ROW


The film industry may have long ago abandoned Hollywood but live theater continues to flourish there. Theater Row is home to Artworks Theater, Celebration Theatre, Elephant Theatre Company, Hudson Theatres, McCadden Place Theatre, National Comedy Theatre, Open First Theatre, The Blank's 2nd Stage Theatre, The Complex Hollywood, The Lounge Theatre, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, Theatre East at The Lex Theatre, and Unknown Theatre
 
 
VIRGIL VILLAGE


Virgil Village is a neighborhood in East Hollywood with significant numbers of Pinoy and Central American-Americans. It's located between Hoover, Santa Monica, Vermont and the 101 (bisected by Melrose). It's home of Amalia's Guatemalan Restaurant, Cafe 50's Hollywood, California Bowl, Wah's Golden Hen, Golfo De Fonseca Restaurant, La Luna Banquet Hall, and Taqueria El Charrito. It's served by several tiny markets including Lee & Oh Foodmart, Reny Market and Virgil Market. It's also home to the attractive Ukrainian Orthodox Church of St Vladimir and the well-known karaoke dive bar, the Smog Cutter. The designation was coined around 1994 and soon after, Huell Howser filmed an episode of Visiting... with Huell Howser devoted to it. 


So hooray for Hollywood! Now, armed with a few tantalizing facts about Hollywood, vote for Hollywood (or any other Los Angeles neighborhoods), by clicking here. To vote for any Los Angeles County communities to be covered on the blog, vote here. And finally, to vote for Orange County neighborhoods, vote here. And remember -- you're never too hood for Hollywood!

*****

Follow me at ericbrightwell.com

CAUTION: FLAMMABLE!

Posted by Job O Brother, November 18, 2008 11:37am | Post a Comment

The view from my window. That store in the middle is Linda Thai - they have great food.

*Cough, cough!*

Hello! Greetings from *cough* Hollywood!

Sorry about the grey ash everywhere. It’s from the fires. And the heat. Strange, isn’t it? To be in the middle of November and planning your day around which businesses have air conditioning? (Amoeba Music, by the way, has air conditioning.) This is how we do winter in LA: pretend the blazing heat is an Arctic chill and those flakes of ash falling from the sky are snowflakes.

Also, that fat man laughing loudly on Sunset Boulevard is Santa. Nevermind that you’ve never seen Santa throw-up in the gutter and scream that the government put wires in his cereal. This is how we do winter in LA.

*Cough, cough* Word.

I must admit, I kind of like the way the air smells when Los Angeles is consumed in hell-fire. Kind of like everything’s hickory smoked. Kind of delicious, and reminds me of Christmas gifts of Hickory Farms, like you might find a smoked and dried Pasadena nestled in a box of fake grass, next to some strawberry candy. Sounds good, right? Who wouldn’t want to spread a little smoked Pasadena on a poppy-seed cracker? Maybe add a sprig of dill. Mmm!
The last seven days – we’ll call it a week for short – have been packed with all sorts of activities. Let’s start with the most improbable of them:

I, Job O Brother, have finally succumbed to that quintessential of LA subcultures; I have started taking yoga. I came to this by way of helpful suggestion from my boyfriend Corey. And by helpful suggestion I mean an incessant, high-pressure sale, wherein which yoga was presented as the cure-all for anything I didn’t like in life…

JOB: My back hurts.

COREY: Yoga would take care of that. You should take yoga.

JOB: Why is my eye always irritated?

COREY: Probably circulation. You should take yoga. It would help that.

JOB: Are we out of beer? Dammit!

COREY: Yoga would help take care of your craving.

JOB: That was my Mom on the phone. My Aunt Lois has died.

COREY: See? You should’ve taken yoga.

Etcetera…

It’s inevitable that, when Corey reads this blog post (in a few months from now when he has nothing to do at work) he will object and claim that I am exaggerating his approach, but I will have my final revenge. When he complains, I’ll simply remind him that yoga will soothe his sense of injustice.

Ultimately, it is he who is vindicated, because I am loving yoga. Honestly, it wasn’t the act of yoga that intimidated me – it was the idea of being in a classroom environment. I realize that I’m no longer a kid and I can’t be forced to do homework or go to anyone’s office, but I’ve always said that the best thing about being an adult is that I never, ever, ever have to go to school again.

I believe I’ve said this before, but I HATE SCHOOL.

Which reminds me, I’ve discovered that actor Wilson Cruz, who played Rickie on My So-Called Life is living in my apartment building. That’s kind of cool.

I’m not taking him any housewarming gifts, however. I hate knowing my neighbors, so I assume they feel the same.

I hate knowing my neighbors because once you’ve reached a point where you’re chit-chatting, it makes it impossible to pass them quietly in the halls when you’re finally home from work. I’ve been on my feet dealing with people for eight hours and I’m only five yards from peace and quiet, but yes, I would LOVE to spend the next 15 minutes talking to you about how hot it is right now and yes, PLEASE tell me about taking your dog to the vet. Heavenly! And they’ll knock on your door asking for sugar! Yeah, I have sugar. I keep it at the grocery store down the street. Help yourself.

This makes me sound hostile, which is unfair. I am hostile, but more than hostile I’m a warm and sensitive sex machine. Don’t let the negative eclipse the positive, mon ami.

Where are we? I sometimes lift my head up from blogging and discover I have no idea how I got where I am, and my original intent seems very far away. Let’s review the first few paragraphs and maybe start again from there…

Hmm… Lots of flippant remarks about the devastating LA fires… Gross tangent about Hickory Farms gift boxes… (Who reads this blog?) The state of winter in LA… Ah, yes! My eventful week.

Friday night, Corey and I went to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, located in Franklin Village (or, as I like to call it, Hipsteropolis), for a midnight No-on-8 comedy show.

(Yes, we realize the 2008 elections are over, but the term No-on-8 has carried over and is no longer just campaigning, but a stand for marriage equality.)

One of the kerjillion ways Prop 8 sucks is that it hijacked my favorite number. I’ve had a crush on 8 since I first learned to count, and now I find myself saying “no” to 8 all the time. I hope, in four years, that the next Prop 8 will be for something I really want. Like, a “yes” vote for Prop 8 will mean every dude in his 30’s will get free massages and a Christmas gift-box from Hickory Farms. YES WE CAN!
 

It's not the photo - she's really this blurry in person.

Anyway, the performances at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre were hilarious. A long roster of performers, both famous and otherwise, did sketches and monologues in support of gay marriage. Highlights were Janeane Garofalo’s monologue, in which she somehow made her rant against men wearing sandals a strong argument in favor of marriage equality; a disorganized but nevertheless chuckle-inducing monologue by funnyman Steve Agee, whose role (as Steve) on the Sarah Silverman Program has unwittingly made him a poster-boy for the bear community...

...Also I loved a sketch by two young women who, with the idea that they would see what it would be like to be married to each other, basically screamed at one another with flawless timing (I don’t remember their names, unfortunately – anyone who does should say so in the comments below).

As a bitchy side-note, the barista who was working the Bourgeois Pig – some high-strung, fey dude – was awful, and caused me to leave before I could order. He spent almost 10 minutes filling the order of the two ladies in front of us (I timed it, yes) because he kept joking and performing for them. When it finally came time for Corey to order, he found that they didn’t have the flavor of tea he wanted. Faced with a last minute decision and an inability to easily see what teas were available (this café is lit with blue and red lights and no tea menu – just display boxes) Corey asked the barista what flavors they had, to which the barista snottily replied that he was too busy to read them, to read the boxes “yourself” and proceeded to help the next person in line! HEY JERKFACE! YOU ARE BUSY! BUSY HELPING THE CUSTOMER WHO JUST WAITED 10 MINUTES TO ORDER SOME TEA!

I’m really sorry about that last paragraph. I realize how indulgent it is to use my blog as a vehicle to rant about poor customer service, but it made me crazy. Ordering tea should never be a stressful experience. And it’s not like I want the guy to get fired. Just, y’know, assassinated a little bit.

Then, a few days ago, I had a phone interview with one of my idols, Sandra Bernhard. I’ll post a link once that’s up.

Yes, a full week. And mostly rad. I hope yours was as well, mon ami, and that the coming week is even better. Cheers.

*Cough!*