Easy Listening Records for Modern Day Witches

Posted by The Bay Area Crew, April 2, 2017 06:38pm | Post a Comment

Witchcraft Easy Listening

Elizabeth Montgomery
Samantha (Elizabeth Montgomery) 

By Kai Wada Roath
Ambassador of Confusion Hill and host of the Super Shangri-La Show


"It's such an ancient pitch,
But one I wouldn't switch,
Cause there's no nicer witch than you."

~ "Witchcraft" by Cy Coleman

Have you ever wondered what kind of music Samantha listened to in her steamy green bubble bath while fantasizing about Anton LaVey (this is before she ended up marrying that mortal goober Darrin Stephens)? She listened to Ruth Welcome's Zither Magic LP of so relaxing, it could reverse any curse.

Before The Sonics were warning you about girls with long black hair and big black cars, with their guitarsCy Coleman, Witchcraft going chonk-chonk, chonk-chonk, chonk, Cy Coleman was telling you to go for them!

Easy Listening can sometimes be easily boring, unless you have a seductress sorceress on the cover starring at you and helping put you in a trance. Witches seemed to be a good marketing scheme for record companies in the late-1950s and early-'60s, and some 60 years later it's still working, cuz I'm like Matthew Hopkins, the Witchfinder General, still searching around and flipping to find records with witches on the front.

Keep in mind, I'm not even talking about voodoo, witchdoctor, pagan, or exotica album covers (I'm sure you may already have some of those gems shelved in your vinyl vaults). I'm looking like Paula Abdul, STRAIGHT UP for witches.

If you think Easy Listening is just for elevators in old Elko casinos and in the hallways of your Great Aunt Nora's old age home, then, Eh! your mother rides a vacuum cleaner! "Top researchers" say such benefits of Easy Listening albums are that they can stop a mental breakdown from happening...or they can make a mental breakdown more enjoyable.

I suppose Witchcraft Easy Listening albums are good to listen to while you're reading about how to safely pull Mandrake roots, planning revenge curses on your downstairs neighbor, brewing protection potions, and, of course, while practicing sex magic. On that note, have you seen The Love Witch? See it! The voice from the cauldron demands you.

To find one of these records, one should twitch their nose, then explore the Easy Listening section at Amoeba, preferably on the eve of a full moon.

The Three Suns

Witches' Brew

Ruth Welcome

Nelson Riddle, Witchcraft

Relevant Tags

Kai Wada Roath (41), Easy Listening (6), Witches (10), Witchcraft (10), Bewitched (1), Elizabeth Montgomery (2), Cy Coleman (1), Ruth Welcome (1), Vinyl (201), Matthew Hopkins (1), Occult (20), Nelson Riddle (2)