The endlessly pithy Japhy Grant paid Walrus Day some lip service two days ago on his brilliant blog The Modern Romantic. When you're done plundering Amoeblog, go check it out! I mean, what else are you gonna do - read a book?

Happy Walrus Day, Amoeblog readers!

Don’t believe the propaganda – December 25 is NOT the “most wonderful time of the year” – today is!

Walrus Day is celebrated all day, every year, on October 8. It’s fun, it’s easy, and no native tribes had to be persecuted in order to bring it about!

A little history: When I was a kid, October was my favorite month (autumn, Halloween, my birthday, the month my parents would visit me at the orphanage), eight was my favorite number (the implications of infinity, the balanced aesthetics of its shape, the date my parents were sued by the orphanage for conning them into admitting me), and walruses were my favorite animal (the Beatles song, their grace in the water and might on land, the animals that raised me after my parents left me with them on the ride away from the orphanage).

I took these three elements and created my very own holiday, and my friends and family have celebrated it ever since.

“But Job,” I hear you asking (I can hear you asking because I can hear your thoughts… even now as you read this… although it’s not that interesting because your thoughts right now are echoing this sentence you’re reading, so I’m basically listening to myself) “But Job,” you wonder, “How does one celebrate Walrus Day, and also, does this shirt make me look fat?”

Well, dear friend, celebrating Walrus Day is easy. Basically, it’s your excuse to do whatever it is that you’d like to do, but normally wouldn’t because you don’t have an excuse.