San Francisco's favorite film hostess Peaches Christ already knows exactly what you want for xmas: a not-at-all silent night of goth holiday glory at San Francisco's historic Castro Theatre! With that in mind she has concocted a ghoul-tide extravaganza like none other. Saturday, December 15th marks the world premiere of THE NIGHTMARE WE CALL CHRISTMAS, an all-new Antichristmas Pageant featuring a screening of the only holiday movie with skintight leather bodysuits, a fervent appreciation for hair styling and topiary maintenance, and Winona Ryder in a blonde wig! Yep, it's Tim Burton's Edward Scissorhands.

But that's not all! Edward Scissorhands is just one of many unforgettable characters Tim Burton has given the world, and the spectacular NIGHTMARE WE CALL CHRISTMAS pre-show will pay tribute to a wide range of Burtonian weirdos, featuring guest appearances from the likes of Beetlejuice, Pee-Wee Herman, The Queen of Hearts, Mrs. Lovett, a chorus of oompah-loompahs, and so much more. Peaches Christ will be steering this sleigh ride to hell as "Peach Boggs" alongside her very "special" sidekick "Martiny Scissor-claws." 

And make sure to dress up in your gloomiest holiday look for our HOLIDAY MACABRE COSTUME CONTEST.

Get your tickets HERE!

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You don't look a day over 62.

Today and tomorrow mark the 57th opening day events anniversary of Disneyland. I can think of no better reason to decide that I will use cuss-words in the following blog – something I don’t normally do – so if that’s going to offend you, you should totally read this (assuming that you love to be offended which, let’s be frank you easily offended folks – you do).

The opening days went notoriously awry – drinking fountains didn’t work, rides broke down constantly, the young woman in the Minnie Mouse costume went mad and tried to fell the Swiss Family Robinson tree-house with a chainsaw while terrified children screamed from the branches, and it was such a hot day!

Ronald Reagan was there for opening day – it’s one of the only things he did that sits well with me. Rumor has it that he got his idea for “trickle-down economics” by watching how the natural flow of passengers organizing themselves to take turns riding on the Matterhorn fucked over the poor.

Did you know Doritos were invented at Disneyland? It’s true, and kind of weirds me out. And then it weirds me out that it weirds me out. I haven’t felt very stable lately.

Sweeney Todd is a villain who began as an urban legend sometime around 1800 and was, a few decades later, the protagonist of a penny dreadful called The People's Periodical, which was published in 1846. The issue was titled The String of Pearls: A Romance written by Thomas Prest, a popular writer who also wrote Varney the Vampire, which I've wanted to get a copy of ever since I was in third grade.

Another popular urban legend of Victorian London was that the unsuspecting victims ended up in meat pies.

There was no evidence of Sweeney Todd having been an actual character, nor that anyone turned up in the popular takeaway dish, but when the story was turned into a play in 1847 the advertising claimed that it was "founded in fact."







In 1936 the first sound film adaptation (following two silent versions) was produced in England. Most of the "ingredients" of subsequent adaptations are present here: a love interest named Johanna, a meat pie-making Mrs. Lovett and of course Todd, his mechanical barber's chair and straight razors. The film starred Tod Slaughter, an actor famous for his over-the-top performances as murderous maniacs. As this clip above illustrates, his acting has pretty "hammy."
 
The next cinematic adaptation was 1970's Bloodthirsty Butchers.
 
In 1973 playwright Christopher Bond wrote a play version wherein new twists were added to the play. In his version Sweeney Todd was motivated by revenge, not greed. A judge wrongfully imprisons Todd and rapes his wife, which leads to her committing suicide.