[insert terrifying caption here]
Unlike many, I look forward to Thanksgiving not because of what I get to eat, but what I get to cook. For this reason, I love to host the holiday. In a village like Los Angeles, it’s usually easy to find many lost little lambs who’ve no place to eat (and no ability to manage kitchens themselves). Honestly, it’s like flunking Home-Ec is a requirement to moving to the City of Angels; I guess Type-A personalities don’t have a lot of patience for braising.
Nothing makes me feel more like a magical wizard than when cooking-challenged people like my boyfriend watch me prep food. Am I roasting zucchini or casting a sleep spell on the whole kingdom? Because his reaction would be interchangeable in either event.
I learned to cook from my Mom; sometimes instruction was direct, but mostly I just hung around the kitchen while she cooked and made a nuisance of myself, learning by observation. I was hypnotized by corn starch and its ability to turn any liquid in to a thick sauce. Separating an egg seemed like a delicate and ancient Chinese dance, and gee whiz…! See what you can do when you whip those egg whites?
There were some causalities, from which I grew wiser. One sneaky bite of unsweetened chocolate taught me that some of life’s greatest pleasures can come from something so foul. I learned Tupperware cannot be used like a pot on the burners, and soon after I learned how hard it is to clean cooked and melted plastic off a grill. One of the few scars I have on my body is on the knuckle of my left thumb from the first time I learned how to use a peeler – I don’t remember what fruit I cut myself on, but I’ve always remembered how to hold the instruments securely since then. Oh! And I learned it doesn’t take very many bittersweet chocolate chips to destroy an appetite.
The year is quickly winding down. Somehow Halloween is over and today is Thanksgiving. Both of these holidays just make me think of Roseanne. Most things I can somehow relate to some TV program! Roseanne is known for some fantastic Halloween episodes but they also have their share of great Thanksgiving episodes. I got to watch two of them last night before I dozed off to sleep on Thanksgiving eve. They showed the episode with the brilliant Shelley Winters as Roseanne's Grandmother. Her character pretends to be senile but everyone is on the joke except for her daughter, played by Estelle Parsons. Darlene gets out of coming home by pretending to have to go visit her boyfriend David, even though she is secretly already living with him. Jackie is about to have her baby and her mom is playing tricks on her by pretending to dislike the father of her baby so she might decide to date him. Dan is mad at Becky's boyfriend Mark for marrying his daughter when she was so young. We also find out a secret in this episode -- that Roseanne's mom got pregnant before she was married. Roseanne was one of those shows with an amazing supporting cast. I can't get through the holidays without my Roseanne. I really thought they would give us a Roseanne DVD box set by now but looks like I have to wait another year. We did get the Golden Girls box set this year, so I shouldn't complain. I still haven't decided if I need a replica of Sophia's purse in my DVD collection...but it might be too hard to resist! Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Hopefully your families are as hilarious and welcoming as the cast of Roseanne and The Golden Girls. But if not, you always have TV to escape into.
Let’s just say, theoretically, that some of your family is in town visiting for Thanksgiving weekend and, theoretically, your 72-year-old mother brings you a few gifts, like freshly dried seaweed, homemade hummus (green with pureed parsley), and a circus clown tin full of Mexican Wedding Cakes laced with greenbud marijuana, which, theoretically, you eat two of and the next day you are crazy hung-over and all you want to do is lay in bed and watch old re-runs of Leave It To Beaver but you have to write this blog you’re now reading. Theoretically.
What music do you listen to?
Frankly, the whole scenario is a bit far-fetched, and I’m not sure why you’re even bringing it up. Certainly nothing like this is what I’m going through right now, because marijuana is illegal and I’ve never even heard of it.
But, if I were in such a ridiculous situation, I suppose the sort of thing I would enjoy listening to would be this…