Somewhere out there, either in the skies of California or many miles beyond - floating down the Thames, wafting across the Mississippi, bobbing over the Sargasso sea, - there is a gigantic inflatable pig that belongs to the Pink Floyd frontman. And he wants it back.
Waters' giant pig balloon was last seen on Sunday, during his closing performance at the Coachella festival. As Waters played Pigs (Three Different Ones), the two-storey-tall dirigible was released over the crowd.
Contrary to what you'd think, this is not the first time that a giant pig zeppelin has gotten away from Waters. During photo sessions for Pink Floyd's 1977 album, Animals, a helium-filled pig made a break for it from above Battersea power station. Flights were cancelled as the pig passed near Heathrow Airport, on its way to the dark side of the moon.
But this time, Roger Waters wants the pig back. Coachella organisers are offering a reward of $10,000 and four lifetime tickets should anyone find the blow-up porker. How to get in touch with them? Email email@example.com, naturally.
Flying high in the friendly skies - The pig at Coachella
As some of you know, I don't like pigs. I don't like to eat them, I don't like to touch them, and I certainly don't like the idea that some Bunyanesque replication of one is lurking in my sweet United States of America.
I am personally offering a sum of $12 to anyone who can prove that the pig has been destroyed. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep until then...