Okay! Okay! Alright! Enough already!
I know I haven’t blogged since Neil Arnott invented the waterbed, and I appreciate the many of who have lovingly asked me, “What the hell, loser?” but if you knew the LIST of reasons why I haven’t been able to write here, you’d have a greater sense of compassion.
Therefore, I present you…
AN ENGLISH LANGUAGE LIST OF REASONS
WHY I HAVEN’T BLOGGED IN QUITE A WHILE
WHY I HAVEN’T BLOGGED IN QUITE A WHILE
1.) I was busy researching the origin of the waterbed.
2.) I switched to decaf. But the not normal kind. The kind that makes you forget to breathe. So you collapse. You almost die. (Available in whole bean from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf.)
3.) I was in the hospital on a respirator that artificially kept my lungs going.
2.) I switched to decaf. But the not normal kind. The kind that makes you forget to breathe. So you collapse. You almost die. (Available in whole bean from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf.)
3.) I was in the hospital on a respirator that artificially kept my lungs going.
Not my best photo, but I like it 'cause I look slim.
4.) I was busy inventing a version of the waterbed that could be used in hospitals.
5.) I almost died of electrocution while testing a hospital waterbed (or, as I call them, Surf-a-Sufferer). As fate would have it, the electrical shock got my lungs to start got my lungs to start working again but also did something to my brain so that I now unwittingly repeat words sometimes.
