You don't look a day over 62.
Today and tomorrow mark the 57th opening day events anniversary of Disneyland. I can think of no better reason to decide that I will use cuss-words in the following blog – something I don’t normally do – so if that’s going to offend you, you should totally read this (assuming that you love to be offended which, let’s be frank you easily offended folks – you do).
The opening days went notoriously awry – drinking fountains didn’t work, rides broke down constantly, the young woman in the Minnie Mouse costume went mad and tried to fell the Swiss Family Robinson tree-house with a chainsaw while terrified children screamed from the branches, and it was such a hot day!
Ronald Reagan was there for opening day – it’s one of the only things he did that sits well with me. Rumor has it that he got his idea for “trickle-down economics” by watching how the natural flow of passengers organizing themselves to take turns riding on the Matterhorn fucked over the poor.
Did you know Doritos were invented at Disneyland? It’s true, and kind of weirds me out. And then it weirds me out that it weirds me out. I haven’t felt very stable lately.