Amoeblog

Walrus Day, 2013!

Posted by Job O Brother, October 8, 2013 08:31am | Post a Comment
walrus day
H
APPY WALRUS DAY, EARTHLINGS!

Kiss someone handsome, eat something tastier than it is healthy, learn a new word that will impress your enemies, crank up the song that makes you feel you could conquer the world, wear the shirt you wear to get stares, call out sick for work or school or meetings or anything that will force you to suffer fools gladly, cure cancer in a way that looks dashing, invent a new flavor of joy, define an as-yet unrecognized sexuality, surprise a loved one with something so sweet and spontaneous it makes them a little suspicious of you, walk around with a balloon (or if you're like me and you hate balloons pop every one you see), get drunk with your best friend and exchange secrets you never thought you'd tell, scream for ice cream, do not follow your diet or exercise routine (unless you're one of those freaky people that likes to exercise), avoid apathy, crack yourself up, tickle your fancy until it pees.

(In which the writer takes a break from writing to write.)

Posted by Job O Brother, February 9, 2009 08:02pm | Post a Comment
sick card

My baby’s been under the weather. And by baby I don’t mean a child I gave birth to; I mean it as a euphemism for “that one dude I smooch and go to Target with.” Baby is just much easier to say.

Anyway, when my baby’s feeling poorly, he likes to watch predictable films, like... well... anything you can come up with that stars Jennifer Aniston or Sarah Jessica Parker and ends with them proving that they really were destined for true love, after all. Normally I protest and suggest we watch something with more substance, such as The Killing of a Chinese Bookie or The Cranes Are Flying – y’know, something that provides perspective and/or promotes psychological examination, to which my baby will argue that he just wants to “be distracted and get lost” in a film, not be intellectually stimulated. I argue that it’s hard for me to “get distracted” watching a film that makes me want to stab a Phillips-head screwdriver into my left aortic arch.

It's like this:

ME...


...VS. MY BOYFRIEND...


Cat People

Posted by Job O Brother, April 17, 2007 01:12pm | Post a Comment

               INT. JOB'S APARTMENT - MORNING

               CAMERA PANS, SHOWING JOB'S IMMACULATE AND ECCENTRICALLY
               APPOINTED LODGINGS. SHOT ENDS ON JOB.

               JOB, (early 30's) is in bed, sleeping.

               At his feet, curled into a black round, is his cat, FANGS.

               ZOOM IN ON JOB'S FACE.

               His mouth and brow twitch slightly; he is dreaming.

                                                       DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. JOB'S APARTMENT - NIGHT

               Job is in bed, sleeping.

               He tosses.

               He wakes suddenly, from a nightmare.

               He looks around, dazed.