Amoeblog

sulla strada, capitolo due

on tour in italy, in one pair of pants ...
Dreaming on a tour can only twist your waking hours...

In the morning before our long drive to Florence, guitarist Lyman woke dreaming of zombies and a world segregated into vegetarian and constantly hungry, brain-eating zombies. Violinist Julie had a terrible dream about a job interview and making spreadsheets, in her words "a wasted dream" while traveling in Italy. Violist Heather keeps on dreaming of tasty meats, smoked sides of ham, pigeon pies
and cornish hens.

On the long drive from Naples to Florence it was my turn to dream twistedly. I snoozed in the sun in the van until the clouds rolled in and the temperature dropped, I woke up cold and confused and with a massive headache. I dreamt I worked at Ikea and I was up for a promotion, but first I had to pass a physical. The attending nurse detected that my spinal fluid was low, so she hooked me up to an IV and inserted a spinal tap.  While I laid there in bent discomfort, friends and acquaintances came by and rubbed my fore head. At one point someone started singing quietly in my ear, I looked up to find Bjork smiling down at me.

But its my brain in my waking hours that keeps on gyrating as if dreaming...

I assumed from the very beginning that the disappearance of our luggage was no accident, that it must have been 'displaced' on purpose, on the sly. Perhaps an inside job? (Remember- there are no coincidences). Were we the guinea pigs to a sinister Karl Rove, mind control, kind of plot? Secret governments/ organization/ syndicates trying to pin some international crime on us -just because they can!- an act accomplished by simply doctoring and packing our bags, guitars, toothpaste with something only evil-doers would pack. But something I've learned, the hard way, on the mean streets of LA, driving those wretchedly cracked freeways, trying to share the road with gargantuan SUV's, gargantuan egos, and gargantuan film companies screwing up traffic at their will at every turn, (as if they built this entertainment capitol of the world!), for their precious movie shoots.

Continue reading
Posted by Whitmore on January 27, 2008 at 06:11pm | Post a Comment

sulla strada, capitolo uno

on the road in italy
Bungled is a great word, its one of those words that even if you're not sure of  the definition, just the sound  -'bungled' - quickly gets you to the gist of  the situation. What Bungled is, is not a great situation.

Right now I'm in Italy on tour with the LA's own Listing Ship, and by no fault of our own... and I swear its wasn't our fault ( though historically there are two essential elements built into any band; incompetence and eventual obsolescences... these truths are perhaps not so written in stone if you play in the Rolling Stones or The Lawrence Welk Orchestra) ...  anyway, somewhere along the line all our luggage disappeared. Somewhere between the sunny palm tree lined dystopia we call home and the airport called the worst in Europe, Rome, all twelve pieces of our luggage vanished off the face of the earth.

Those of us who grew up on the west coast blamed it on our stop-over in New York's JKF airport, those of us who grew up on the east coast blamed it on the airport in Los Angeles ... our Italian friends blamed it on the airport in Rome. Ultimately it appears to have been yet another bungled moment for an airline we'll call "American Err-lines" ... All twelve pieces gone. Poof! We filled out the paperwork and were assured that somehow the heavens will open and our luggage will fall though a worm whole,  magically appearing on the front steps of our Managers apartment in Naples the next morning. But 24 hours later no record of our luggage - bags, guitars, drum gear-  existed anywhere, online or otherwise.

We played our first gig at the Cantina Mediterraneo in Frosinone... with borrowed gear, and I have to say incredibly nice gear! It doesn't get much better than this. Thanks to the excellent opening band, The Mosquitos, based in Naples, we played through gorgeous Fender amps and electric guitarist Lyman
was greeted with a vintage Gold Top Gibson Les Paul to play. When Lyman opened the guitar case a beautiful golden light filled the back wall of the stage, and I swear I heard a litany of cellos quietly filling the air ... and a voice, a deep resonating voice that said something profound in Italian, but I don't understand Italian. I'm not sure what was more inspiring for our first show in Italy, the great gear we were using or the 5 course meal the club provided for us. And the wine... the wine! Like the great river Euphrates, the purest waters from the river flowing from of the garden of Eden, the flowering of civilization, the flowering of sin, wine bringing us back back to life, yeah baby...wine wine wine!!!  we knew everything would be copacetic.
Posted by Whitmore on January 27, 2008 at 05:57pm | Post a Comment

The Word(s) of the Year

‘w00t’, ‘locavore’, ‘subprime’ and more

(Drum-roll please)
 
Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year for 2007:

w00t. – interjection: expressing joy (it could be after a triumph, or for no reason at all); similar in use to the word "yay", example: “w00t! I won word of the year”

The word has yet to find its way into the regular Merriam-Webster dictionary—but its inclusion in the online Open Dictionary, along with the top honors might just improve its chances. This year's winning word first became popular in competitive online gaming forums. Although the double "o" in the word is usually represented by double zeroes, the exclamation is also known to be an acronym for "We Owned the Other Team". In 2006 the Merriam-Webster dictionary voted “truthiness”, from the Stephen Colbert Report, as the word of the year.

However! (Drum-roll please)


New Oxford American Dictionary 2007 Word of the Year is “locavore”. Locavore was coined two years ago by a group of four women in San Francisco who proposed that local residents should try to eat only food grown or produced within a 100-mile radius. Another spelling variation sometimes seen is “localvores”. The locavore movement encourages consumers to buy from farmers’ markets or even to grow or pick their own food, arguing that fresh, local products are more nutritious and taste better. Locavores also shun supermarket offerings as an environmentally friendly measure, since shipping food over long distances often requires more fuel for transportation. The New Oxford American Dictionary word of the year in 2006 was “Carbon Neutral”.

Continue reading
Posted by Whitmore on January 14, 2008 at 10:10am | Post a Comment

The Cyclonic 2007 Celebrity Mugshot Whirl-Around, part 2

more pretty pictures of pretty people



Sometimes I get the impression that our old friend Orenthal James "O. J." Simpson just wants to end up at the top of an old oil refinery like James Cagney in White Heat, screaming at the top of his Hall of Fame lungs “Look at me Ma! Top of the world!” Then boom … infinity and vapor … melted down like a Heisman Trophy.






David Huckabee
, the eldest son of presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, made headlines when he was arrested in April for having a loaded Glock pistol in his carry-on bag at the Little Rock Airport. Yeah, but that’s nothing compared to the stunt he pulled as an 18 year old, when he was fired from his Boy Scout counseling job for torturing and killing a stray dog he caught at Camp Pioneer in Hatfield, Arizona. First he hung the dog by the neck, slit its throat, then stoned it to death.





You would think that the biggest story this year in sports would have been Michael Vick and his massive screw-up, but luckily for him we live in an era when athletes massively screw-up all the time.






I’m not trying to play the elitist-snob game here, but I’ve never seen an episode of American Idol … but shit, with characters like Jessica Sierra hanging around, I think I have to mend my ways and check this show out! But the first order of business, get Season Four from Netflix for a better look at this femme fatale.

Continue reading
Posted by Whitmore on January 12, 2008 at 09:00am | Comments (1)

The Cyclonic 2007 Celebrity Mugshot Whirl-Around, part 1

looking back at one year's miasma

 
I guess you can say that Daniel Baldwin isn’t the best looking Baldwin, nor is he the Baldwin most likely destined for a career in politics. And you know that’s OK; it’s a terrible profession anyway.


Unfortunately, as I look closer at this mugshot, I have to add, oddly enough … and sadly enough… I can’t decide whether he looks more like my dad or more like me.





 At one point I thought Mickey Rourke was one hell of a weird but pretty interesting actor. With movies like Angel Heart, 9½ Weeks, The Pope of Greenwich Village, Rumble Fish, Diner, Johnny Handsome, they’re not all necessarily great or even good films, but sometimes it doesn’t matter,  I watch Mickey Rourke and I think to myself; “what the hell?’. (Actually way back in the day, before Amoeba-time itself, I used to work for the law firm of Parkinson, Wolf, Lazar and Leo in Century City. One day one of the attorneys walked up to me and said “Hey Whitmore, I just saw a movie starring Mickey Rourke and I thought the character he played reminded me of you. Have you seen the movie Barfly yet?”  What can you do? I lied and said no, then quietly walked away.) Anyway, I haven’t seen much of Mickey Rourke since his last mugshot … by the way; this arrest in November was for drunk driving on a Vespa scooter.


 



Well I wish I could tell you some interesting story or tidbit about the life of thespian/pre-teen role model Lindsay Lohan, but I can’t… anyway, here is her complete set of mugshots from 2007. Collect ‘em all, trade ‘em with your friends.

Continue reading
Posted by Whitmore on January 11, 2008 at 07:06pm | Post a Comment
BACK  <<  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  >>  NEXT