So, there's all these awfully tense feelings around the stuff like the ice mountains-- melting on the north and south poles? I forget what they're called but they sank the Poseid
-no, wait that was a big wave. They sank the one that Leonardo DiCaprio was on. Ironically, he is really into green causes. Go Leo!
I bet all that drowning made you run out and buy a Prius. I rather like a Toyota myself, in general. If they were a band, I would buy their music. Beep beep. But that's bad because I am supposed to want to bicycle. Always. Everywhere.
Where was I? Okay, so there's going to be this really big show, a concert - about this global heat problem we have all of a sudden?
(Like Live Aid, but it's about the sun burning us all up I guess. It's why we take your old AA batteries and sundry and recycle them, see?) Anyway, everyone is quite serious about this now that we aren't really being able to have Satsuma Mandarins, best fruit in the world, now that there's all this global warming. The damn growing season was iced out. Scary!
So, anyway, the big pop show with the fantastic Spinal Tap
is happening over at Wembley - an English thing, if I got that right? Let me tell you, I've been there - not Wembley Arena - just the old UK, and they didn't like me one bit. I want some of you Brits to pop on here and let me give you what for. I'm just as cute as a button, there's no explaining your ways to me. Tsk, I say. (Except Pi. We miss you sweety.honey.baby.)
I admit that there's other save the planet shows going on (I just pictured Bob Geldof making out with Al Gore and it weren't a pretty sight) around the old globe, even up in Antarctica they say. Believe that when I see it! All under the same moniker.
But, we're talking about Spinal Tap
. So this time they're calling the big show Live Earth
, which is after all what we're aiming for. Gets right to the point, doesn't it? We're not likely to have a big show and call it Dead Earth if you catch my meaning. Say, have you seen that blazing TV show called Planet Earth
? Discovery Channel!! If you were a car, you'd be a Toyota! That, people, is a big compliment. If you haven't seen it yet, you should buy an IMAX theatre and invite me over. I'll bring pop. Not really, I'd bring bottled water, but it's all the same, isn't it?