Amoeblog

Happy New Year!

Or, stay home and watch a New Year's Eve-centric movie and avoid the knave scene

 

 
Posted by Eric Brightwell on December 30, 2007 at 09:16am | Post a Comment

Happy Yule - December 21/22

Turns Out Jesus Isn't the Reason For the Season
   

Amongst the Sami, midwinter was an occasion for honoring the goddess Beiwe who was associated with the sun, fertility and sanity. She reportedly traversed the sky in a craft made of reindeer bones accompanied by her daughter, Beiwe-Neia. Beiwe's followers sacrificed white female animals and smeared their doorposts with butter for Beiwe to munch on during her journey.


Quit fighting, you! At least you'll be out of this blasted cold soon! Plus, I've still got to smear some butter.

Amongst the Germanic peoples to their south, Juletid referred to their take on midwinter festivities. By the late Viking Age the word "Yule" had come to refer to a pan-European bricolage of midwinter observances.


Real Vikings don't use horns (on their helmets)

Yule logs were lit to honor Thor. The feasting would continue until the fires had burned out. Although
in 960, Norwegian King Håkon signed into law that Jul (Yule) was to be moved from the solstice to December 25, to align it with Jesus' birthday party; Icelanders continued to keep it real until the Reformation reached them and ended the fun.

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Posted by Eric Brightwell on December 16, 2007 at 01:08am | Post a Comment

It's the Eve of St. Nicholas Day

St. Nicholas' badass friends
It's already December 5th again. Everyone knows that I'm obsessed with holidays and St. Nicholas Day is one of my favorite. Most people have heard David Sedaris' story about Santa Claus vs. St. Nicholas and maybe some of us know that he was a Greek bishop in present-day Turkey who became the patron saint of children by resurrecting their little corpses and paying off debts of the living to keep them out of child sex slavery.
 
I know people still exchange gifts at least in parts of the Middle West. Fewer of us still stuff our shoes with carrots and hay for his white horse Amerigo (or in some places a donkey) with the expectation that tomorrow we'll find our initials in chocolate, chocolate coins or marzipan. Of course, if we've been bad there might be some salt or a bundle of sticks to get switched with.

In different parts of the world he's accompanied by different comrades.
 
Probably most well known is Zwarte Piet who is his companion in Flanders and the Netherlands. Originally Zwarte Piet was a nickname for the Devil and, after arriving from Spain, he threatened to stuff bad kids into his sack and take them back with him. In the 19th century in typically misguided proto-Political Correctness, he was re-cast as a Moorish servant in blackface wearing colorful clothing from the Renaissance. Satan is too offensive, Moorish slavery is still unfortunately commonplace so I guess not as tasteless. If you look up Sinterklaas on YouTube you will be shocked by the prevalence of blackface which no one there seems to find remotely controversial. All the comments are in Dutch and I guess you don't see a lot of black people in Holland unless Urban Dance Squad is still around.

Posted by Eric Brightwell on December 5, 2007 at 01:08pm | Post a Comment

Venus was her name

All data seems to indicate that this planet is going to be uninhabitable by 2012. Jack van Impe says it's a good thing. Jesus is going to take charge.
 
"Don't be scurred!"

    I, for one, don't plan on hanging around. I honestly heard that the Bush administration set aside billions of dollars for some project in Antarctica. I can't remember where I heard it or any specifics but my theory is that global warming will soon cause a major disaster. Sea levels will rise causing hordes of displaced, massive, occasionally cannibal Samoan and Maori populations to invade the continent-dwellers' homes- eating the skinny first and saving the chubby for last. The rich and powerful will retreat to the newly tropical Antarctica Maximum Security New Eden Colony like monks in the Dark Ages whilst those of us who've survived work the sand mines of the wastelands, occasionally fending off bands of marauders.

                                          
Halt! You have violated New Eden's borders.                                  "Give us the sand and we may let you live!"

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Posted by Eric Brightwell on November 30, 2007 at 05:09pm | Comments (3)

Quest For the Missing Piece

I saw this documentary with Chaz. It's a documentary wherein director Oded Lotan explores the topic of male circumcision. Whereas female circumcision is an almost universally vilified procedure, one in five males in the world is circumcised the film tells us. The reasons given are usually the same:  To maintain the status quo, hygiene, aesthetics, health, tradition, to fit in, religion/kicks.

    

It's told in sort  of a contrived fairy tale structure with narration and whimsical cartoons which I found a bit annoying but I could imagine the more whimsically-inclined enjoying. Lotan attempts to track down both his Mohel and his estranged foreskin. In the process he engages his uncircumcised boyfriend, his mother, an adult Russian immigrant who undergoes the surgery to feel more whole, a seven year old Muslim kid with little idea what "becoming a man" entails and a group of Jews vehemently opposed to this strangely anachronistic and (more strangely) run-of-the-mill ritual.

 
Lotan presents compelling arguments. As a gay Jew, he still doesn't fit in even without his foreskin so why is it that his not-especially religious mother thought that penile similarity would ensure his acceptance in a society that probably never knows what his penis looks like unless speedos are popular in Israel. Why not get him a nose job or gender reassignment? Maybe remove some moles and birthmarks too.

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Posted by Eric Brightwell on November 27, 2007 at 07:00pm | Comments (2)
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