Amoeblog


(Wherein I review rad, rainy resources.)

Posted by Job O Brother, December 20, 2010 11:38am | Post a Comment
santa claus
Merry Christmas from the homeless guy who stole your candles!

Santa, it would seem, heard my Christmas wish and brought me lots of rain. While not convenient to my compulsive walks to the grocery store for whatever culinary whims o’ertake me, I’ll trade easy access to the “Asian food aisle” for gloomy storm-clouds any old day. It’s not just the weather itself, it’s the music, movies, food and activities that I save for just such an occasion. What are they? I’m pretending you ask – Why, I’ll tell you!

top hat
Boner.


Let’s start with alcohol, as any good day does. This is the season for a cocktail staple of mine: hot toddies, of the whiskey variety. It’s so simple, I hesitate to say this is a recipe, any more than boiling spaghetti and dumping a jar of sauce on it is a “recipe,” but if I’ve learned anything about you earthlings, it’s that when cooking doesn’t come naturally, it doesn’t come at all. So here goes…

1.)  Simply boil water. If you need instructions for this, stop now and don’t ever, ever step into a kitchen.

2.)  While you wait for your water, squeeze the juice from one whole lemon, removing any seeds. Save the seeds and, in another blog, I’ll show you how you can use these dried lemon seeds to make the ugliest, stupidest necklace ever.

3.)  Pour boiling water into a large glass, about ¾ full. Make sure it’s tempered glass! I once spent the night with the boyfriend in the ER because he thought it would be okay to pour boiling water into a complimentary POM brand drinking glass, which shattered instantly and baptized his inner thighs in the name of PAIN.

4.)  Add two tablespoons of honey to the water and stir. Use organic honey! Don’t be a dick about bees!

5.)  Add lemon juice, yo.

6.)  Lastly, fill the glass with your favorite whiskey or bourbon. It’s important to do this last, because you don’t want to “cook” the booze and rob it of its life-giving qualities. It makes the Baby Jesus cry.

7.)  Curl up in some nook and watch one of my favorite rainy day movies, as mentioned below…


This is also the best beverage when you have a cold, because the alcohol eases any aches and pains, plus whiskey, I’m told, assists in opening up the respiratory system; then you have the Vitamin C from the lemon juice.

lemons
Suck it.

Now for films. When it’s gloomy out, I like whatever I watch to match it, if not in weather, then in mood. The last thing I want to see when it’s a blustery day is a bunch of peppy kids frolicking in sunlight. Gross. So here’s some drizzle-friendly films that carry my seal of approval:







On the subject of music, I’ve addressed rainy tunes before, so I’m going to add to this mix these gems here:









Finally, I cannot recommend enough, that there’s nothing sweeter for stormy weather than to curl up and enjoy all the above nouns and proper nouns with the love of your life. Whether it’s your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your boyfriend and girlfriend, your hermaphroditefriend, your cats (red flag), or your strictly platonic until you both have too many hot toddies and now you’ve “done it” and things will never be the same best buddy – get someone into that living room of yours. If you truly have no one, give me a call. I’m too busy to come over, but another rainy day activity I love is listening to desperate people cry about their inability to find loving relationships.

Cheers!

Relevant Tags

Rain (3), Booze (8), Alcohol (11), Nevada City (25), Grass Valley (2), The Bears (1), Whiskey (6), Recipes (9), Movies (46), Procol Harum (1), Rina Ketty (2), Cartoons (18), Disney (30), French Music (11), Christmas (76), Santa Claus (4), Boswell Sisters (3), Bauhaus (14), Films (4), Cinema (7), Rashomon (1), Clue (1), Night Of The Hunter (1), Prospero's Books (1)