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AMOEBLOG PREDICTIONS FOR 2008, PART THREE

Posted by Billyjam, December 31, 2007 03:08pm | Post a Comment
BRITNEY SPEARS FINDS GOD AND STARTS HER OWN RELIGION:

My prediction for 2008, well … I have many, but just for the sport of celebrity gawking I’ll throw in this prediction:  
Britney Spears will find God, actually become a religious zealot. She’ll start her own religion, set up a compound/church in Iowa where millions of her disillusioned directionless fans will follow her.

A couple of years down the line Iowa will pass a referendum establishing itself as the independent Sovereign Nation of Iowa. By 2009, Mike Huckabee, having only ever won in Iowa, will run for President of Iowa and win. Meanwhile Britney’s sister, Jamie Lynn, will disappear from public view only to resurface in 2012, when she signs with Blue Note Records as a jazz singer.  Her new approach will emulate her idol Anita O’Day. Jamie Lynn then will write her own parenting book titled It’s Never Too Early to Start Good Parenting. 
            
She’ll eventually marry the California Highway Patrol officer who pulled her over for driving under the influence, though he’ll tear up the ticket once he recognizes her from her Playboy spread.
                     
Whitmore ("the thing of a thing of a thing..." Hollywood AMOEBLOGGER, member of the band Listing Ship)

BABY EATING ON FEAR FACTOR & PERSONAL MEMORIES ON NETFLIX

The cross cultural fusions happening in popular music will grow so varied that Frankenstein-esque new genres will have to be sewn together in order to describe the newest music like: gothic indie folk, or post-grunge screamo tech, or neuvo-retro contemporary psychobilly Christian, acappella death electro, braille, sunshine blues and every CD will have either a string quartet tribute or a downtempo remix.   Someone in everyone of these band will either have the chin-beard/dreads combo, extreme bedhead/facial grimace combo or will wear a necktie incorrectly.

Umm... every politician will lie.
 
The people will become fed up with the structure of wealth in this country and simultaneously dismantle the IRS and the DPT (Dept. of Parking and Traffic).

Every reality dating show that is intended to end in marraige will go for one-two new seasons and Fear Factor will introduce baby eating.

Food will become more processed and multi-functional.
 
Lonely and/or sociopathic people will be able to purchase robot mates.

You'll be able to rent your personal memories from Netflix.

Society at large will realize that all of the celebrities that are featured in tabloids and on Entertainment Tonight-esque "news" shows are really unattractive/boring/not-so-smart and will focus on bettering their own lives, homes, families and building intimacy with the people they choose to be their partners/mates.

A famous musician will pass away and everyone will rush out to buy their entire catalog.

I will eat lots of pizza and watch The Young Ones and Golden Girls on DVD.

I think that's it.

Jason Chavez (Amoeba San Francisco), aka 4AM (DJ, producer, spoken word artist, producer recording artist solo and with Dopestyle + blogger on Bike Messenger Boyfriend)

                                                            

This was the third part in the AMOEBLOG series featuring predictions for 2008 in which each participant was invited to make a prediction for 2008 on any topic -- music, film, technology, sports, politics, social trends, etc. -- be it real or imagined, serious or witty. Check back for the final installment when Michael A. Gonzales and Maggie the Cat will be among those makling predictions for the new year: And feel free to add your predictions for 2008 in the COMMENTS box below.

                                     Meantime, wishing you a very Happy New Year!

Relevant Tags

Dopestyle (9), Secret Society Of The Sonic Six (22), 4am (8), Jason Chavez (2), Whitmore (3)