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AMOEBLOG PREDICTIONS FOR 2008, PART ONE

Posted by Billyjam, December 29, 2007 03:47pm | Post a Comment

This is part one in a series that will run over the next few days (up to and including New Years Day) featuring predictions for 2008 by folks somehow connected with Amoeba Music -- staff, owners, and Amoebloggers (including The Bay Area Crew, Whitmore, Gomez Comes Alive!, and Eric Brightwell), plus other individuals who are either fans of the Amoeblog (such as DJ ALF) or have been featured in some way in past Amoeblogs such as hip-hop author/journalist Michael A. Gonzales (interviewed months back in a report about the book Bronx Biannual). 

Each contributor was asked to make a prediction for 2008 on any topic -- music, film, technology, politics, sports, social trends, etc. Their prediction could be real or imagined (i.e., wished for) and they could be done in all seriousness or in jest or in half-jest. And the responses could be anywhere from a few words to a paragraph or longer in length. Very special thanks to those who took the time to share their predictions for 2008 including today's contributors: Eric Brightwell, Amoeba Marc, The Insomniac (Bay Area Crew), and DJ ALF -- all below:

                  

INCREASING OUTSIDE PRESSURE ON THE USA TO CHANGE ITS WAYS:

I predict that the biggest criminals in the history of humankind, literally having stolen the entire contents of the US Treasury several times over in the last decade, not to mention all the lives ruined or lost along the way, will continue their thieving virtually unabated in 2008.

I predict that whoever is elected president will have little ability to change the very unfortunate course we're on.
 
I predict increasing pressure by the rest of humanity on the US to change its ways.

And I predict musicians will start to see a world where their music can be played and distributed to a more focused audience-- and start to figure out ways to make a living in the "digital" age!!!

  - Amoeba Marc (musician/recording artist, Amoeba spokesperson & Amoeba Music co-owner)

PREDICTED PROBLEMS AT SUMMER OLYMPICS IN BEJIING:

Something bad is going to happen during the Summer Olympics in Beijing, China that is going to alter the shape of all future Olympic games. I say this because of all the crazy stuff that has been happening over in China. Ever since they won the bid to host the games there has been a whole lot of chaos over there in China -- most of these incidents underreported stuff.
 
  - DJ ALF (Amoeblog fan, hip-hop artist, electronics engineering technician formerly in US Air Force)

PRESIDENT OBAMA & VICE PRESIDENT CLINTON:

My wish for 2008 is that the United States of America has the largest voter turnout in its entire history as we elect our first black President Obama, and his Vice President Clinton being our first female Vice President. That is my wish and my greatest heart's desire. Amen.
            
The Insomniac (Bay Area Crew) Amoeblogger

  ERIC BRIGHTWELL HAS READ THE TEA LEAVES & NOW KNOWS ALL:

I've looked into the future and I've seen so many things I believe will come to pass. I have read my tea leaves. I see many things. I am the new Sylvia Browne ...

Early in the year the Andean Community and Mercosur will unite and form a new union known as the Union of South American Nations which will commonly be referred to as Unasur. Gas prices will remain high and lots of talk will be made of reducing our dependence on oil. Public Radio will air a story on cellulosic ethanol.

Shortly thereafter, the 50th Grammy ceremony will take place. Mysteriously, no one either attending nor viewing will have any recollection of any part of it whatsoever after three days. When WrestleMania XXIV takes place in Orlando the following month it will be held entirely outdoors and, despite the rain, Vince McMahon will insist that the show go on.

Meanwhile, in Russia they will elect a new president. The new leader will attempt to re-unite the USSR but the UN will send in a highly-trained and effective agent to stop it from happening. We won't hear about it in any news outlets.

When the flowers of spring start to bloom Israel will joyously mark 60 years of apartheid (16 years longer than South Africa!) with an expensive and ostentatious celebration replete with helium-filled balloons and fireworks. The Israeli occupation will be described by George W. Bush as  "A valued bacon (sic) of democracy in a volatile region." The sounds of celebration will drown out his slip and it will go unnoticed by all, including the president.

Over on Mars, NASA's Phoenix will land. Not everything will go smoothly. My people will gripe about NASA. NASA will send pictures that will be featured in National Geographic not long thereafter.

One cycle of the moon later, Bill Gates will retire. At first, he'll hang around Microsoft headquarters asking if people need him to cover their lunches or pick up a shift now and then. Eventually, he will overhear a Microsoft employee say, "He's kind of more in the way than anything" to an agreeing co-worker and he'll go home to begin secretly working seriously on his long-planned move to the moon. When he gets there he'll meet Richard Branson who will grant Bill domain of the entire darkside in exchange for his silence and a guarantee of eternal space peace.

The Olympics will begin in Beijing not long after. Uyghur separatists will stage demonstrations in Xinjiang and the Chinese will respond by impaling their firstborn on spikes until the protests end. The press will agree to ignore it not because of the Olympics, but because Tibet is so much more fashionable.

In November a new president of the US will be elected. The winner will be somewhere over their forties. I also see that they are a multi-millionaire. They will talk a great deal of the need for democracy to spread and yet, curiously, support the most totalitarian and repressive regimes on the planet.

After the first snowfall, the I-35 bridge in Minneapolis will be completed and Minnesotans will say, "Well it's about time!" Meanwhile, in Dubai, they'll build the tallest building in the world, which even supermagician David Copperfield will prove incapable of vanishing for more than an imperceptible fragment of spacetime causing a temporal anomaly that will be the global issue of 2009.
 
 Enjoy it and watch it come true!

 - Eric Brightwell (The new Sylvia Browne & Hollywood Amoeblogger)
  
                                                       

Thank you for reading and be sure to check back tomorrow on the Amoeblog for Part Two in this Predictions for 2008 series when Rameen, Gomez Comes Alive!, Tim Ranow, and Jim & Karla Murray will be the featured predictors. And meantime, feel free to post your 2008 predictions in the comments below. Thanks!

Relevant Tags

Eric Brightwell (3), Dj Alf (7), Amoeba Marc (3), The Insomniac (1), Bush (4), Summer Olympics (1)