Amoeblog


(In which one of Job's dreams comes true... also a nightmare.)

Posted by Job O Brother, July 3, 2007 05:40pm | Post a Comment

Is it wrong to have Coors Light for breakfast?

This is the question I’m struggling with right now. It’s so cuss-word hot in Hollywood today. It makes it hard to think. I need to write a blog!

I wish Amoeba Music sold Coors Light, then I could just blog about that. I could be drinking it and telling you how I “recommend it” and stuff like that. That would rock.

Oh hey – I saw a great concert the other night. It was the final performance of the True Colors Tour, which started a month ago in Las Vegas and ended at the Greek Theatre in LA, as opposed to the Greek Theatre in San Francisco, where they played the night before.

(The Greek thing is a tip off.)

I got to see Debbie Harry and Cyndi Lauper in the same line-up. Added to that was Erasure; between these three acts I felt as though I was 14 again and had escaped to the city for a concert. Except I was sober and the car wasn’t stolen, so I guess it wasn’t too much like being 14…


Erasure, top; Dresden Dolls, bottom (...you know what I mean.)
The Dresden Dolls also performed, but my sweetheart and I missed it; we were cuddled on a grassy knoll eating the most expensive and, ironically, most horrid cheeseburgers I’ve ever had in my life.

I had never seen so many homos in my life. I’ve never been to Pride or Bed, Bath & Beyond, so this event was the gayest I’ve attended. Of course, Margaret Cho was the host, and as a particularly surreal touch, Cyndi Lauper’s encore was backed-up on drums played by… Rosie O’Donnell?


"I pretend the snare is Donald Trump's head!"

Gay. Gay, gay, gay!

At the end, all the musicians shared the stage and sang “True Colors” (duh) and a cover of ABBA’s “Take a Chance On Me”. At that point, anyone in the audience who might’ve been heterosexual must certainly have been transmuted.

This part of the show was actually a nightmare come true for me, because they brought out something like 20 enormous balloons and sent them out on the sea of people. Corey and I were sitting towards the back, so I watched, petrified, as these freakish multi-colored death bubbles slowly made their way to me. It was like a dream I couldn’t wake from. It left me feeling like I could relate to Vietnam vets.

Vietnam vets can drink Coors Light for breakfast and nobody gives them any grief for it.

Cyndi Lauper is an amazing performer. Did you know that? Yeah, we all love her for her record-breaking record “She’s So Unusual”, (the first debut album to have 5 top ten hits, FYI), but what I didn’t know was what a dynamo she is live. Where does this middle-aged mother get her energy? She’s on-stage, running around, dancing through the audience constantly, singing crazy notes and cracking jokes and being all cute and dramatic and delightful and then there’s me, who’s tired from “standing there” for so long.


I am nothing next to her.

The concert was her brainchild; a fundraiser for the Human Rights Campaign.

It was also Debbie Harry’s birthday. I choked-up seeing her, I’m not ashamed to admit it.


In the flesh - Debbie Harry

As a side-note, most of these performers I’ve mentioned have all been fat in the last decade, but they weren’t fat at the show. Andrew Bell looked fit, Cho was slim, Debbie and Cyndi looked like they were fresh from Curves. What’s going on?

Anyway, it was a great night. The tour is over, so I can’t exactly “recommend it” but I think it will happen again next year, in which case I recommend that you go, if only to see how Cyndi deals with instruments malfunctioning. That alone is worth the price of admission.

Oh, but don’t eat the cheeseburgers.

Relevant Tags

Beer (7), Live Music (1), Gays (71), Rosie O'donnell (1), Erasure (7), Dresden Dolls (1), Margaret Cho (4), Debbie Harry (6), Cyndi Lauper (9), Coors Light (2), Vietnam (19), Abba (14)