Amoeblog


The Best Years of Our Lives

Posted by Job O Brother, April 14, 2007 08:44pm | Post a Comment

               EXT. GRAUMAN'S CHINESE THEATRE - NIGHT

               JOB, (early 30's) and his boyfriend COREY (late 20's), exit
               the theatre amidst the late-night crowds of tourists, all
               looking downward at the celebrity-made prints in the sidewalk
               panels.

               The marquee behind them reads "GRINDHOUSE".

                                   COREY
                         You like it?

               Job nods.

               Beat.

                                   JOB
                         Very much.

                                   COREY
                             (chuckles)
                         You're glowing!

                                   JOB
                         I... thought it was exhilarating.
                         And deep. People will think I'm
                         retarded, but I thought Tarantino's
                         piece was deep. As well as just
                         effing entertaining.

               Corey laughs.

               They hold hands as they walk.

                                   COREY
                         Shall we go home now?

                                   JOB
                         Yes. We could have sex! Also, I
                         need to write a blog.

                                   COREY
                         You could try doing both at the
                         same time...

                                   JOB
                         Hm.

               Job considers this.

               They wait at the the stoplight.

                                   JOB (CONT'D)
                         Remember when crossing signals
                         actually said 'walk/don't walk'
                         instead of pictures of the... red
                         hand of death and... the white man?

                                   COREY
                         Whatever, grandpa.

                                   JOB
                             (eyes narrow)
                         I will probably kill you tonight.

                                   COREY
                         Ohh... Come on, grandpa. I'll take
                         you home to your rocker and warm
                         quilt and you can reminisce about
                         simpler times when crossing signs
                         had words...

               Job laughs in spite of himself.

                                   JOB
                         Sometimes I don't know whether my
                         body is going to hit you or kiss
                         you.

               The light changes.

               Job and Corey begin walking up the cobblestone stairs that
               lead across the steaming river of molten lava.

               Job furrows his brow.

                                   COREY
                         What?

                                   JOB
                         Hm?

                                   COREY
                         What's on your mind, grandpa?

                                   JOB
                         Oh... I'm just... That movie got me
                         thinking about... I dunno, the
                         whole fascination with retro
                         culture and how... America is such
                         a young country and I often wonder
                         if that's why we cling so
                         romantically to our pop culture.
                             (beat)
                         And... Those women in the movie...
                         the whole aesthetics of the film
                         utterly appealed to me, and I know
                         that one of the big reasons is
                         because of my association with my
                         older sisters, who were teenagers
                         in the 70's, and...

                                   COREY
                         Lookout.

                                   JOB
                         What? Oh...

               Job notices the GIANT MUTANT MOTH CREATURE headed their way
               and ducks along with Corey.

                                   JOB (CONT'D)
                         Thanks.

                                   COREY
                         You are all about 'remembering the
                         old days' tonight.

                                   JOB
                         Well... Yeah. I guess so.

               Job kisses Corey.

                                   COREY
                         Do you wish you lived back in the
                         1970's?

                                   JOB
                         No. I mean, it would be nice not to
                         have to deal with the lava or the
                         mutant insects... and those movie
                         tickets wouldn't have cost three
                         quarters of a million dollars...

                                   COREY
                         What about aging? Do you wish you
                         aged?

                                   JOB
                         Sometimes.
                             (beat)
                         Anyway, all I care about is seeing
                         a truly fantastic film now and
                         again, as we have, and having you
                         there to share it with me.

                                   COREY
                         Aw...

               They kiss deeply.

               The dreaded ARMY OF SANTAS ignite nuclear devices which
               destroy everything except for Job, Corey, the 30-foot radius
               surrounding them.

                                   COREY (CONT'D)
                         Lame!

                                   JOB
                         I guess we should just stay here?

                                   COREY
                         This sucks!

                                   JOB
                         Calm down. We'll just fly over to
                         that planet over there.

                                   COREY
                         Where?

                                   JOB
                         Over there. See?

                                   COREY
                         Does it have parking?

                                   JOB
                         We'll find out.

                                   COREY
                         I don't wanna have to spend the
                         next century or two looking for
                         parking.
                             (Job smiles.)
                         What.

                                   JOB
                         I was just thinking. Some things
                         never change.

               A GIANT MOSQUITO overhears this and chuckles, which causes
               him to accidentally spill his mojito.

                                           END

Relevant Tags

Grindhouse (9), Gays (71), Film (72)