EXT. TOWER OF LONDON - DAY
We hear the sounds of drumbeat.
JOB, (early 30's) is led to the scaffolding by the heavy-set
EXECUTIONER, who wears a black hood.
The courtyard is crowded by on-looking MEMBERS OF THE COURT.
Job is positioned behind the chopping block.
Drum comes to a dramatic stop.
EXECUTIONER
Any last words?
JOB
Yes.
(clears throat)
Sorry.
(coughs)
Sorry. Does anyone have a lozenge?
I'm just... my throat is dry from
being all nervous about dying and
everything.
(beat; silence)
No? Okay, well... I think I have
some gum in my pantaloons up in
Bell Tower...
Executioner shakes head 'no.'
JOB (CONT'D)
Oh... okay.
(gulps)
Well... last words.
(beat)
Heh... You'd think I'd have come up
with something after all the time
I've had, locked up...
(beat)
Automatically, one wants to begin
by saying 'thank you' to various
people. I guess that's what's
expected in most speeches, but it's
different when you're being
executed. Heh... I mean, it would
be silly to say, 'I wanna thank
everyone for selecting me to have
my head chopped off.'
Job laughs nervously. In the distance, someone coughs.
JOB (CONT'D)
Well... One reason I don't have
anything prepared is that, while
locked in Bell Tower I happened
upon a copy of 'The Forsyte Saga'
on DVD.
(beat)
I watched the whole thing. It was
good. A lot of people are crazy
about it. I dunno...
(beat)
I did like it, but it... My
favorite BBC drama is 'Upstairs
Downstairs'. Anyone see that? It
was on in the early 70's... 1970's,
which is like, hundreds of years in
the future from us here in Tudor
England, which explains why no one
here's seen it, I guess...
(beat; scratches head
Weird... I just realized that this
and my last blog have something to
do with British history. I guess
from watching the show...
(beat)
Sorry. My mind my drifting. Anyway,
'Upstairs Downstairs' focuses on a
wealthy family living at the turn
of the century and their servants.
It's a fascinating look at class
structure, which is still
surprisingly relevant to society in
2007. The characters are so rich,
and after a couple episodes you get
really involved in everyone's life.
Once it's over, you kinds grieve,
because you miss your friends.
(beat)
Anyone who likes period dramas
should check it out. I watched the
complete series, but they're
available individually, too.
(beat)
Wow... I really went off on a
tangent about BBC television, huh?
I hope I didn't bore y'all. You'd
probably appreciate it more if TV
had been invented in this time
period, I guess.
Job looks awkwardly around.
JOB (CONT'D)
Welp... I guess that's it.
EXECUTIONER
Ready?
JOB
Would it matter if I said 'no'.
Executioner shakes head 'no'.
JOB (CONT'D)
I didn't think so. Well... Thanks
everyone! Watch 'Upstairs
Downstairs' as soon as its
invented.
He kneels and places his head on the chopping block.
Executioner raises his axe.
JOB (CONT'D)
(sits up)
Oh! One more thing: You know how
some people lately have begun
debating the shape of the world...?
The Executioner swipes and chops Job's head off.
INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE, FRESNO, CA - 400 YEARS LATER, DAY
The Executioner watches 'Upstairs Downstairs' on TV and eats
a can of Pringles.
EXECUTIONER
Huh... Job was right. This show's
pretty tight.
END
Relevant Tags
Bbc, England, Senseless Killing, Uk HardcoreComments
This is the most amazing thing I have ever read. Whoever wrote this must clearly look like a porn star.
job, i love you.