Amoeblog


A Man For All Seasons

Posted by Job O Brother, April 22, 2007 10:39pm | Post a Comment

               EXT. TOWER OF LONDON - DAY

               We hear the sounds of drumbeat.

               JOB, (early 30's) is led to the scaffolding by the heavy-set
               EXECUTIONER, who wears a black hood.

               The courtyard is crowded by on-looking MEMBERS OF THE COURT.

               Job is positioned behind the chopping block.

               Drum comes to a dramatic stop.

                                   EXECUTIONER
                         Any last words?

                                   JOB
                         Yes.
                             (clears throat)
                         Sorry.
                             (coughs)
                         Sorry. Does anyone have a lozenge?
                         I'm just... my throat is dry from
                         being all nervous about dying and
                         everything.
                             (beat; silence)
                         No? Okay, well... I think I have
                         some gum in my pantaloons up in
                         Bell Tower...

               Executioner shakes head 'no.'

                                   JOB (CONT'D)
                         Oh... okay.
                             (gulps)
                         Well... last words.
                             (beat)
                         Heh... You'd think I'd have come up
                         with something after all the time
                         I've had, locked up...
                             (beat)
                         Automatically, one wants to begin
                         by saying 'thank you' to various
                         people. I guess that's what's
                         expected in most speeches, but it's
                         different when you're being
                         executed. Heh... I mean, it would
                         be silly to say, 'I wanna thank
                         everyone for selecting me to have
                         my head chopped off.'

               Job laughs nervously. In the distance, someone coughs.

                                   JOB (CONT'D)
                         Well... One reason I don't have
                         anything prepared is that, while
                         locked in Bell Tower I happened
                         upon a copy of 'The Forsyte Saga'
                         on DVD.
                             (beat)
                         I watched the whole thing. It was
                         good. A lot of people are crazy
                         about it. I dunno...
                             (beat)
                         I did like it, but it... My
                         favorite BBC drama is 'Upstairs
                         Downstairs'. Anyone see that? It
                         was on in the early 70's... 1970's,
                         which is like, hundreds of years in
                         the future from us here in Tudor
                         England, which explains why no one
                         here's seen it, I guess...
                             (beat; scratches head
                         Weird... I just realized that this
                         and my last blog have something to
                         do with British history. I guess
                         from watching the show...
                             (beat)
                         Sorry. My mind my drifting. Anyway,
                         'Upstairs Downstairs' focuses on a
                         wealthy family living at the turn
                         of the century and their servants.
                         It's a fascinating look at class
                         structure, which is still
                         surprisingly relevant to society in
                         2007. The characters are so rich,
                         and after a couple episodes you get
                         really involved in everyone's life.
                         Once it's over, you kinds grieve,
                         because you miss your friends.
                             (beat)
                         Anyone who likes period dramas
                         should check it out. I watched the
                         complete series, but they're
                         available individually, too.
                             (beat)
                         Wow... I really went off on a
                         tangent about BBC television, huh?
                         I hope I didn't bore y'all. You'd
                         probably appreciate it more if TV
                         had been invented in this time
                         period, I guess.

               Job looks awkwardly around.

                                   JOB (CONT'D)
                         Welp... I guess that's it.

                                   EXECUTIONER
                         Ready?

                                   JOB
                         Would it matter if I said 'no'.

               Executioner shakes head 'no'.

                                   JOB (CONT'D)
                         I didn't think so. Well... Thanks
                         everyone! Watch 'Upstairs
                         Downstairs' as soon as its
                         invented.

               He kneels and places his head on the chopping block.

               Executioner raises his axe.

                                   JOB (CONT'D)
                             (sits up)
                         Oh! One more thing: You know how
                         some people lately have begun
                         debating the shape of the world...?

               The Executioner swipes and chops Job's head off.

               INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE, FRESNO, CA - 400 YEARS LATER, DAY

               The Executioner watches 'Upstairs Downstairs' on TV and eats
               a can of Pringles.

                                   EXECUTIONER
                         Huh... Job was right. This show's
                         pretty tight.

                                           END

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Bbc (15), England (20), Senseless Killing (2), Uk Hardcore (2)