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Posted by Job O Brother, March 28, 2007 09:58am | Post a Comment

               INT. GREG'S OFFICE - DAY

               GREG, late 20's, sits in half-lotus position on his cluttered
               desk. He is wearing a button-up shirt and tie. His shoes are
               off.

               His eyes are closed. His thumbs and middle fingers, touching.
               He is meditating.

               We can hear the sounds of a bustling corporate world outside
               his office.

               Door opens. Enter LOUIS, pre-teen, overweight, nerdy. He is
               holding a cardboard drink carrier in which are four tall
               mochas. Balanced on top of this is a small paper bag.

               Louis closes the door behind him.

               Greg does not respond to Louis' entry; continues meditating.

               Louis stands still and watches Greg.

               Some time passes.

                                   LOUIS
                         Hey.

                                   GREG
                             (eyes stay closed)
                         Hey.

               Beat.

                                   LOUIS
                         They were out of bagels.

                                   GREG
                         Hm.

                                   LOUIS
                         They did have cream cheese though,
                         so I got you the cream cheese. And
                         they were out of plastic knives so
                         I got you extra napkins and a
                         couple straws. I thought maybe you
                         could use the straws instead of a
                         knife.

                                   GREG
                         Do you think I'm attractive?

                                   LOUIS
                         I dunno.

                                   GREG
                         Everyone says I'm handsome but I
                         think I'm ugly. Of course, I know
                         what's on the inside of me.

                                   LOUIS
                         Do you want me to set this on your
                         desk?

               Greg opens his eyes and looks at Louis.

               He gestures for Louis to hand him the goods.

               He takes one of the beverages and drinks it all gone.

               Louis watches.

               Letting out a huge sigh after finishing the drink, he hands
               Louis the empty cup.

                                   GREG
                         Recycle this.

                                   LOUIS
                         Sorry about the bagels.

                                   GREG
                         Not your fault.

                                   LOUIS
                         It kinda is. My Dad's the baker.

                                   GREG
                         Then it's your Dad's fault, not
                         yours.

               Greg begins to drink second beverage.

                                   LOUIS
                         Yeah. He's been pretty stressed out
                         lately.

                                   GREG
                         Yeah?

                                   LOUIS
                         Yeah. That's why I'm gloomy all the
                         time.

               Knock on the door.

               LENA, an attractive young executive, pops her head in.

                                   LENA
                         Hey Greg? Oh hey, Louis.

                                   LOUIS
                             (smiling)
                         Hey.

                                   LENA
                         How's your Dad doing?

                                   LOUIS
                         Oh, he's all stressed out.

                                   LENA
                         Aw. Well tell him I said hello.

                                   LOUIS
                         Okay.

                                   LENA
                         Hey Greg? I'm still waiting for a
                         few things from Mark C, but I'll go
                         ahead and bring you the recent
                         batch and by the time you finish
                         going over it I'm sure Mark'll have
                         the rest of it in to me.

                                   GREG
                         Great.

               Lena smiles.

                                   LENA
                         Nice to see you, Louis. Be good.

                                   LOUIS
                         I will.

               Lena closes door.

               Greg stands on top of his desk and bends down to touch his
               toes.

                                   GREG
                         How old are you, Louis?

                                   LOUIS
                         Almost fourteen.

                                   GREG
                         Fourteen.

                                   LOUIS
                         I'll be fourteen on February 8. I'm
                         an Aquarius.

               Greg exhales dramatically and jumps off his desk.

               Knock on the door.

               Enter an eight foot tall LIZARD.

               Both Greg and Louis are astonished.

                                   LIZARD
                             (deep, gruff voice)
                         Hi.
                             (beat)
                         My name's Amy.
                             (beat)
                         I'm the new secretary sent over
                         from Varsity?

                                   GREG
                         Oh, Amy.

                                   LIZARD
                         Amy Rex, yes. Hi.

                                   GREG
                         Hi. Welcome.
                             (beat)
                         Uh, why don't you have a seat and
                         I'll go over a few things with you.
                         Would you like something to drink?

                                   LIZARD
                         Oh, thank you. Coffee would be
                         great.

                                   GREG
                         Okay. Louis? Would you get Amy a
                         coffee?

                                   LOUIS
                         Do you like cream or sugar or both?
                         They also have honey.

                                   LIZARD
                         I like a lot of cream, please.

                                   GREG
                         Anything to eat? A bagel?

                                   LOUIS
                         No, Greg, they're out of bagels,
                         remember?

                                   GREG
                         Oh. Right. Can we get you anything
                         else?

                                   LIZARD
                         I wouldn't mind having...
                             (to Louis)
                         I'm sorry, what was your name?

                                   LOUIS
                         My name's Louis.

                                   LIZARD
                         Hi. I wouldn't mind having Louis
                         here. Since I'm a great big lizard
                         creature I love eating little boys.

                                   GREG
                         Oh.

               Looks to Louis and shrugs as if to say "Is that alright?"

                                   LOUIS
                         Oh. Is it gonna hurt?

                                   LIZARD
                         Yeah. It'll hurt really bad at
                         first until you're dead. Then it
                         won't.

                                   LOUIS
                         Oh. Well...

                                   LIZARD
                         Is that scary to you?

                                   GREG
                         How about a cookie? Louis' Dad is a
                         baker and he makes the best cookies
                         I've ever had.

                                   LIZARD
                         Oo, that sounds good. But I think
                         I'll just stick with Louis. I'm on
                         one of those tacky protein diets.

                                   LOUIS
                         Greg, I don't think my Dad would be
                         okay with me being eaten.

                                   GREG
                         Okay. Uh...
                             (awkward pause)
                         Tell you what, Amy. Why don't I get
                         you someone else to eat?

                                   LIZARD
                         Who?

                                   GREG
                             (to Louis)
                         Louis? Go see if Jan is busy.

                                   LOUIS
                         Okay.

               Louis exits quickly.

                                   GREG
                         Sorry about all the...

                                   LIZARD
                         Oh no, I'm sorry. I wish my order
                         wasn't so complicated.

                                   GREG
                         So, you're gonna be with us...

                                   LIZARD
                         Eight months.

                                   GREG
                         Eight months, that's right. You'll
                         be one of the family. That's great.
                         I saw your resume. It's impressive.

                                   LIZARD
                         Oh. Thank you.

                                   GREG
                         I'm sure you're gonna work out
                         great. Today's actually the perfect
                         day for you to start because
                         tomorrow's the third of the month
                         and that's the day we...

               Knock on the door.

                                   GREG (CONT'D)
                         Yes?

               Enter JAN, mid 30's. Nondescript and uncharismatic.

                                   JAN
                         You needed me?

                                   GREG
                         Yes. Hi Jan. Jan? This is Amy.

                                   LIZARD
                         Hello. Nice to meet you.

                                   JAN
                         Hello.

               They shake hands.

                                   GREG
                         Amy's over from Varsity. She's
                         gonna be here a while and I was
                         hoping you would let her eat you.

                                   JAN
                         Oh. Okay.

               Lizard eats Jan.

               INT. BAKERY - LATER

               Louis enters the front door of the bakery, which is empty.

                                   LOUIS
                         Dad?

               Louis goes behind the counter and grabs a Napoleon, which he
               begins to eat.

               He walks into the back room.

               He stops.

               His father, GARY, is huddled in a dark corner of the room.
               His face is tear stained and anguished.

                                   LOUIS (CONT'D)
                         Are you okay Dad?

               Gary shudders and begins to cry. He holds out his arms to
               Louis.

               Louis goes to him and Gary embraces him, sobbing anew.

                                   LOUIS (CONT'D)
                         What's wrong Dad?
                             (beat)
                         What's wrong?

                                   GREG
                         Nothing. I'm just... I'm... I'm
                         just so scared... all the time...
                         I'm scared all the time...

               Greg sobs.

               Louis rubs his arm.

                                                       SLOW FADE TO
                                                       BLACK.

               Sound of bell on front door opening.

                                   VOICE (O.S.)
                         Hello? Are you open?

                                           END

Relevant Tags

Bagels (2), Lizards (2), Children (3), Job Opportunities (2), Angst (6)